Instinct
by ChiaroscuroXVII
Summary: While stranded on a planet. Changes begin to happen. Physical changes. J/P Disclaimer: I don't own these characters
1. Chapter 1

**This is my first posted fanfic ever. Reviews are always welcome. Enjoy!**

Captain Kathryn Janeway was cursing in every language she knew. In her head. Outwardly she was calm and in command as she ordered Tom Paris to compensate for the altitude they were rapidly losing.

"Doing my best Captian," Tom said, his voice strained. "They irrevocably damaged the left rear thruster and totally knocked out shields."

They being the Kazons and they had showed up during a normal scouting mission Kathryn using to 'metaphorically stretch her legs' as she had explained to Tuvok when he questioned her motives for accompanying Tom.

"Can you land?"

"Yeah, but it's going to be rough."

"Do it Mr. Paris."

Tom tried valiantly ease the shuttle down, but it was near impossible due to the amount of damage they had sustained. They hit down hard. Tom smashing face first into the consol before him, Janeway tumbling across the compartment, this time cursing aloud as she felt ribs snap. Tom was vaguely shocked at her language as he slipped into blackness.

It was the pounding headache that woke her up. Knowing she most likely suffered from a concussion, she didn't try to move just yet. Instead she catalogued her injuries, judging from the amount of pain radiating from her thigh, side, and head she had broken ribs and deep gashes along with various other minor cuts and bruises. Next she tried to open her eyes and found herself confronted with one of the most hideous faces she had ever seen to date.

A dark skinned leathery face with contrasting white paint in swirling designs bared sharp teeth at her before jabbering to its companions in what sounded sort of like cat noises. She began to slip back into unconsciousness as more of the strange beings surrounded her and lifted her up.

The next time she came too was no less painful then the first time but she was filled with relief to hear Tom calling her name. "Kathryn… Kathryn… Kate!"

"That's Captain to you Mr. Paris." She said in her gravelly voice.

He laughed in relief. "Of course captain. That knock to my head must have rattled some stuff around." She turned her head slowly to take him in. His nose was broken for sure and blood was drying on his face. "You look like hell."

He laughed again, "Well we can't all look as pretty as you." She was glad to see he was no hurt enough to diminish his flirtatious manner.

"Help me up," she ordered, struggling to sit up.

"Your injuries are pretty severe Captain, you should stay down."

"I'm fine," she said, but couldn't stop the automatic reaction to grab her side and grimace in pain. "We have to find a way out of here." She looked around the primitive yet effective wood cage they were enclosed in.

"I already tried," Tom said, shrugging. "You should really lie down. Conserve your strength for later. I think the locals have something planned for us." He indicated the bustle of activity occurring outside their cage in the center of the village. "I think it's safe to say it is not a welcome feast."

She gave him an odd look. "It's only a matter of time before Voyager discovers we're missing and starts following our trail."

They must have fallen asleep because tom was rudely awoken by hands roughly grabbing him and dragging him from the cage. He struggled instinctively and noticed Janeway doing the same. They were bound with thick vines of some sort, one thrust into their mouths forcing them to gag on the bitter sap they secreted. Immobile and unable to protest, they were dumped in front of a simple stone alter as the rest of the village formed a silent circle around them.

A shaman stepped up behind the alter clad only in some sort of large animal skin. He lifted a ceremonial knife to the sky and began to chant in the strange local language as Kathryn was dragged forward and lifted onto the alter. Both her and Tom struggle futilely. Her hands were untied and held above her head as the shaman dragged the knife down her body, cutting her cloths from her.

Even in this nasty situation Tom couldn't help but notice how beautiful Kathryn was. He watched helplessly as designs were drawn on her lithe, curvy body, the white chalk barely showing up on her pale skin.

The shaman handed the knife off to an assistant and picked up a claw like object. The chant grew stronger as the people of the village joined in, adding a booming tempo from an instrument closely resembling a drum. Kathryn watched with horror as the shaman brought the decorated claw down on her with a shout, dragging deeply into her shoulder. She screamed in pain, swallowing more of the vine sap. A bowl was held out to catch her blood.

Once the bowl was half filled, Kathryn was moved off the alter and Tom forced into her place. More Natives were needed to control Tom's wild flaying. Kathryn watched through a haze of pain and buzzing that was numbing her limbs.

The same ritual was performed on Tom, filling the bowl all the way with the human's blood. It was then passed through the crowd, each dipping their fingers in and tracing their white designs, coloring them red. When the bowl reached the shaman, he took the remains and stirred it with the claw adding a powder.

First Kathryn, then Tom was forced to drink the concoction, brilliant red liquid spilling over their faces and down their bodies. They were untied, but both were too exhausted and sick to do more then to slump to the ground as the natives danced around them.

Faces and limbs swirled around the pair in a dizzy pattern of colors and shapes, their senses all out of whack. Kathryn closed her eyes to block out the confusing tableau. The pain numbed and Kathryn felt as though her skins was crawling and shivering, but she couldn't seem to focus on the sensation for long. It was as though something was lurking at the back of her mind, pacing like a caged lioness, and the presence of it was growing strong as the chanting natives continued in the background.

Tom was feeling similar sensations. His skin felt itchy and uncomfortable, like he wanted to shed it. He also had a strange desire to get closer to Kathryn and protect her, a desire that seemed to come from the presence growing within him.

Something was happening, the new presence in their minds, were overwhelming them. Kathryn tried to scream as she felt bone and muscle shift and change, although painless was disconcerting all the same. The crowd went silent as they witnessed the two humans shift into huge mountain cats. The female, smaller then her companion, closely resembled a lioness with tawny soft hair covering an elegant body built for hunting ending from blunt face with big gray-green eyes to tail tipped with a tuff of golden auburn hair. The bigger cat was of similar coloring with deeper spots of gold scattered across his massive body.

Tom was dazed and confused about what had happened to him, but his new cat instincts overrode his human cogitative thought process for the moment. He had to protect his mate from the strange beings who stared at them. He stepped in front of Kathryn, curling his body protectively around hers and growled menacingly, showing off lethal fangs.

This seemed to bring the villagers out of their trance. With a growing shout, they moved to grab weapons and move in on the two cats. Tom, recognizing a threat in overwhelming numbers, nudged Kathryn with his nose knowing they'd have to make a break for it if they wanted to live.

The danger forced Kathryn from her shock and she snarled at the advancing natives and swiped at the nearest one with wickedly sharp claws before spinning around and charging at the weakest point of the circle, scattering their predators like dominos. Tom followed close behind with a growling laugh because even as a giant cat, she was still Kathryn.

They bolted for the trees, running with a loping ease. Their strength, reflexes, endurance, and senses had increased exponentially, allowing them to leave their hunters far behind them. With the danger lessened, Tom began to enjoy the run, the effortless strength of his muscles carrying him almost silently through the forest, the wind and a thousand other scents rushing by. He glanced over to Kathryn easily keeping pace with him and could sense she felt the same.

Kathryn didn't know what to think. Indeed a big part of her was enjoying the run, but another part- her human part- was telling her this was wrong, she shouldn't be a cat. Humans don't turn into cats. It is physically impossible on so many levels starting with simple biology.

Deep in thought, her pace slowed and Tom automatically slowed down as well. Knowing she was starting to panic and starting to feel the same, he went over to where she was scowling into the distance and began to nuzzle his face against hers, giving and taking comfort.

Tom abruptly stopped, smelling something on the air. Kathryn looked up at him questioningly, as smelling it. A stronger whiff traveled on the faint breeze and they could feel the hair rising on the back of their necks. It was the same stench of the unwashed natives. They had caught up sooner than they expected. Obviously these people knew how to hunt whatever they had become. Tom and Kathryn exchanged a look, knowing now that they'd have to be more careful in order to survive.

Kathryn nudged Tom in one direction and herself moved in another. And although her instincts were screaming for her to go back to his side, she knew they should mess up the trail to make it harder for their hunters to follow.

Kathryn was exhausted. She has been running for hours, and as far as she could tell, the hunters were held up once her and Tom began confusing their trails. She was slinking through the undergrowth, a belly crawl, when she heard a slight rustle. Quicker than the human eye could blink she had leapt forward and twisted midair to meet the new threat head on. She landed on all fours hissing and spitting only to confront Tom sitting on his haunches huffing with laughter.

Annoyed she charged him, head-butting him in the chest, sending them rolling together across the forest floor. They wrestled playfully for a few moments, unreasonable glad to see one another again before Tom abruptly climbed to his feet and set off deeper into the forest this time expecting Kathryn to follow.

She did so and he led them to a cave he had found while avoiding the natives. He went to the back of the shallow cave, and squeezed himself through a narrow crack barely discernable in the darkening light. Kathryn squeezed in behind him and found herself in a larger cave; old evidence of campsites gave proof that this used to be a shelter for the natives before the entrance collapsed.

Grateful for the hiding place Kathryn curled up in a ball, chin over tail. Tom settled down behind her causing her to involuntarily relax into him. Before she drifted off she noticed a faint rumbling coming from him. He was purring.


	2. Chapter 2

**Warning scenes of nudity and sexual situations. please enjoy.**

Tom awoke to find himself back in his original form. He breathed a sigh of relief. He had been worried that he was going to be a giant cat the rest of his life. Now he could almost convince himself it was a very weird dream but for the fact that he was naked and held an equally naked woman nestled in his arms.

Tom knew he shouldn't look down at her- she was his captain for goddamnit!- but he couldn't help himself. He allowed his eyes to wander over her face framed by long, wild auburn hair, relaxed in sleep. His gaze followed the pale line of her neck down to full breasts. Damn that uniform hid her curves well. Cautiously, as not to wake her, he placed a hand on her bare stomach and could feel the hard muscles twitching beneath the smooth, warm skin.

Tom silently marveled at this beautiful creature in his arms. Even as a human, she was strong and sleek and faintly cat-like in her beauty. He also noticed that all her injuries were gone, but for the scar on her shoulder where the shaman had dug in the claw. That got him thinking that maybe the transformation the natives had forced upon them had changed their human bodies as well. But before he could thinker harder on it, Kathryn turned around to face him and rubbed her nose into his chest. All of her curves where pressed deliciously up against his hard body and Tom felt a strong urge to roll her on her back and ravish her run through him.

Startled by this, Tom scrambled away all the while feeling the cat within him howl to return to his mate. Kathryn woke up at the sudden loss of heat. She didn't understand what was going on, but she wanted the warmth back. Still mostly asleep, she crawled over to where Tom was sitting with his head in his hands and curled up around him. She lay still besides him for a moment, before it hit her as too what had just occurred. She bolted up and stared at him.

"Tom?!" she croaked.

Tom could do nothing but stare at her. He opened his mouth to speak, but couldn't think of anything to say, so he closed it again.

Finally Kathryn came back to herself. "Oh thank God. I was worried we were going to be stuck as cats forever."

Tom nodded in agreement. A part of him wished she would cover herself and another part –a stronger part- wanted to stare at her endlessly.

When Tom didn't voice his agreement, Kathryn realized that she was naked and he was staring at her. "Oh!" she exclaimed as she moved to cover herself up. But as she did so, she found that she really didn't mind Tom staring. It made her feel…good. That thought gave her pause. Since when has she, strong and aloof Captain, found the cocky, handsome flyboy of Voyager attractive? Somewhere between never and yesterday it seems.

The silence grew stale between them and they sought to look everywhere but each other, each trying to think of something to say. It was Tom, who could never stand to stay quiet for too long anyways, spoke first.

"What do we do now?"

"We have to find a way to contact Voyager. They should know we're missing by now and will no doubt be looking for us." The Captain was back. "It's obvious the natives are using us as some sort of hunting ritual and we are dead if we don't get off this planet soon."

"Ok. So how do we do that? We have extremely limited resources here."

"Do you remember the way back to the village? We should try to recover our combadges if we can."

Tom thought back. He remember running through the forest on silent paws, seeing his mate flit through the trees ahead. He looked back up at Kathryn, his eyes darkening with want.

The cat within Kathryn recognized the look and reacted to it, arousal sparking through her. She felt herself become wet and wanted nothing more than to throw herself at him. But the Captain within held her back. Obviously Tom didn't have that same problem.

He lunged at her, pushing her down on the rough cave floor and capturing her lips in a savage kiss. Kathryn reacted to him automatically, kissing him back just as frantically, wrapping her leg around his hip in an unconscious effort to get closer.

She had never been with someone who aroused her this quickly before. This was…explosive. All rational thought had left her and all she could do was throw her head back and moan as Tom left her lips to trail down her neck, kissing and nipping.

"Mmmm, Kathryn," he moaned into her smooth skin before gently biting down, instinctively knowing this was her weak spot. The effect was immediate, Kathryn could feel a flood of wet between her thighs and she was awash in pleasure. There was a deep ache in her core and she wanted him inside her. Now.

But Tom was not done playing. He nibbled his way down to the soft swell of her breasts and stopped to take her in. Her passion glazed eyes and flushed face caused him to grin in possessive pleasure. Her was the one who did that, made his stoic Captain writhe wantonly beneath him.

This pause was their undoing. Tom suddenly realized it was his Captain that he had pounced and was now savagely seducing and Kathryn came back to herself enough to realize that this was not proper Captain-like behavior especially with her lieutenant and pilot.

Kathryn stilled her movements beneath Tom and stared at him, eyes wide with shock and embarrassment. Likewise Tom had frozen above her, suddenly hyper aware of their position and the state he was in. And as suddenly as he had pushed her to the ground, he rolled off and away from her, trying to put as much distance possible between them.

Kathryn sat up slowly still very much aroused, but trying her hardest to ignore the urge to go over to where Tom was crouched and push him on his back and… No she couldn't think like that. She was his superior officer. It would be best to pretend it never happened.

She sucked in a deep breath and allowed her Captain's mask to fall into place. Never mind the fact she was naked, she could act the Captain even in her sleep. Being stranded in the Delta Quadrant did that to a person.

"We have to find our way back to the village."

Tom looked up from where he was silently chastising himself, surprised. He was convinced she would never speak to him again.

"We need to find our combadges and try and contact Voyager," she continued, "If not, we must find the shuttle and see if it salvageable." When Tom didn't move she barked in her best command voice, "Now Mr. Paris!"

"How do you propose we get past all the natives who want to kill us?" he asked standing up.

Janeway didn't answer. Her mouth was open as if she was about to speak again but she wasn't making a sound. Her eyes were fixed on a point just over his shoulder and he could feel the hairs on the back of his neck prickle. He turned around to see what the threat was.

"Oh Shit."


	3. Chapter 3

"Oh Shit," Kathryn echoed Tom's statement.

Standing behind them and armed to the teeth, were their hunters. They had exchanged their swirling paint designs for fierce sharp lines that twisted their features into grotesque monsters. They advanced slowly on the two humans, both who backpedaled in response. They backed up until their naked backs were pressed up against the rough stone wall of the grimy cave.

Tom was growling at the threat low in his chest without even realizing it. One daring native in the front of the pack jabbed his crude spear at Kathryn in an attempt to begin the hunt once again. Tom saw the movement made towards his mate and reacted without thinking, placing himself in Kathryn and batting the spear away viciously. He could feel the cat rising within him and fought it, scared to let go his humanity after so recently regaining it. So caught in this internal struggle, he missed the natives crowding closer around them, but Kathryn didn't.

She recognized the threat and reacted as she had always done- confronting it head on. She stepped around the immobile Tom and launched herself at the natives. Her skin shivered and shifted, human form falling away to be replaced by her feline one.

She immediately fell among the enemy, swiping and clawing with her dinner plate size paws, sharp incisors bared in a ferocious growl. The natives rushed at her, spears raised, only to fall back under her furious strength.

One hunter got lucky and managed to draw his spear down Kathryn's side creating a light scratch. With a roar of pain, Kathryn turned on him and swiped at him, connecting with him head with a solid crunch.

The sickening sound of a person's head caving in, spurred Tom into action. The cat inside him recognized the fight and his mate in the heat of battle and ached to join. This time Tom didn't hesitate. With a roar a large male cat joined the fray.

The pair worked in sync with one another, relying on their newly acquired instincts to tear their way through the mass of natives swarming them. Both were bleeding from various cuts, but the number of bodies and wounded left in their wake spoke to their superior fighting skills.

Kathryn forced herself to focus on the fight and not think about how she was a cat again. Not to think of the impossible scientific mitosis, nor how she can change back and forth with a thought. Instead she lunged and clawed, seeking a way out of the cave and masses of ritual-minded inhabitants of this small moon. She could sense Tom at her side and if she had the time, she would have stopped to admire the sleek beauty of his predator body fully immersed in the deep instinctual fight response. She saw him dart towards the cave entrance and followed behind, slipping through grasping hands and poking spears and out into the sunlight.

Her eyes adjusted must faster than her normal eyes where done. And it was a good thing too. No sooner then she had burst free of the oppressive stone walls then a crude arrow came whistling at her. She tried to leap out of the way but the first one managed to lodge in her shoulder. She roared in pain and turned her head to rip the projectile out with her teeth. Ignoring the pain, she began to run, moving in a swift zigzag pattern to throw the archers off. She could hear Tom crashing through the undergrowth somewhere on her left, stealth abandoned for speed.

They flew out of the forest and loped across a huge green field, two golden blurs parting the tall grass. Suddenly, camouflaged bodies surged up in front of them. The disguised natives caused the two cats to come skittering to a halt, back paws digging up furrows in the earth least they impale themselves on the wall of spears raised to meet them.

There was a split second where hunter and prey stared at one another before the cats wheeled about and began sprinting back the way they came. Until they noticed the archers lining the trees, awaiting their return to the forest.

Tom veered to the right, spotting a gap in the line of natives closing in on them, and Kathryn swiftly followed. He charged at the lone native standing between him and escape and the savage could only tremble in fear, weapon useless in his grasp, as the 200 plus lbs. feline barreled towards him. At the last moment, Tom launched himself skyward, clearing the hapless native by inches, to land gracefully in the massive tree behind him. The native fainted as the second cat soared above him to follow her mate into the tree.

Now the archers were shooting blindly into the leafy canvas above them as the cats jumped silently from branch to branch, moving as covertly as they could away from the threat. Tom cursed in his head as one lucky arrow sliced the air millimeters away from his head, but he refrained from making any noise aloud.

Some of the savages were attempting to climb the trees themselves, but none could find purchase on the smooth bark of the trees.

The humans worked their way around the clearing, being careful to stay out of sight. Lucky for them, the natives were moving in the other direction, convinced the pair was trying to get deeper into the forest. They were safe in the trees for now, but the trees were about to run out as they neared the far reaches of the forest.

The two felines sat in the last tree big enough to hold their weight and surveyed the stretch to open plain before them. A noise made Kathryn's ears twitch. The natives were moving towards them again. If they were going to go, they had to go now.

She nudged at Tom with her nose and he caught on immediately, his sensitive ears picking up on the noise as well. In tandem, the duo leapt from the tree and began to make their way across the dusty plain.

Kathryn could feel the earth change from soft dirt to hard packed and dry terrain. But it didn't bother her. If anything, this ground gave her better purchase to sprint on even if it was to dead to grow trees and bush that would have provided cover.

They ran until their muscles ached and paws were sore and continued on after that. They could no longer feel the primal freedom of running, they could only feel exhaustion, but had no way of knowing if they had lost their attackers.

Tom noticed Kathryn was beginning to flag, naturally, being the female and the weaker of the two. He slowed his pace to match hers, but did not stop; still afraid they had not gone long enough to put off their hunters.

It was when he saw her stumble for a second time that he finally slowed to a halt. Tom knew she could go farther. It was well into night by then and their overheated bodies cooled quickly in the cold desert darkness.

Kathryn couldn't think straight. She was thirsty and tired, her muscles trembling, aching to lie down. Tom, even being the stronger one, felt the same. Stumbling, she made way over to a small outcropping of rocks and curled up next to the stones that still clung to the day's heat. Tom watched fascinated as her skin shivered and melted away to reveal her naked human form. She was too worn out to hold onto her feline alter ego any longer.

Tom allowed his cat form to fall away as well and moved to curl up next to Kathryn. But before he could reach her, the familiar buzz and blue light of Voyager's transporter beam swept them away.

**A/N: I'm just writing this for fun. Reviews are great but not nessicary. If you are going to review please don't make comments on the poor grammer. This is unbetaed and likely to stay that way. Sorry. Please Enjoy :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Ok. So, this story is continuing on way longer then I had ever planned, but I just can't stop! So please enjoy.**

Tom materialized into Voyager's sickbay just in time to collapse onto the EMH. And as much as he wanted to lapse into unconsciousness, he had to stay awake. Had to know that Kathryn was going to be alright.

The room was spinning around him and he caught snatches of frantic conversation as he was lifted onto a bio bed.

"Get her onto a bed…both suffering… severely dehydrated…Get me…"

Next came the hiss of a hypospray and blessed darkness overwhelmed him.

XOXOXOX

Kathryn Janeway was getting really sick of all this passing out and waking up with splitting headaches. Then the past few day's events came flooding back to her and she struggled to sit up, to make sure Tom was still okay.

A hand on her shoulder pushed her weakened body back down to the bed.

"Please calm down Captain. You are safely aboard Voyager and quite well despite severe dehydration, over taxed muscles, and what appeared to be a arrow wound in your shoulder."

"Tom?" she croaked.

"Mr. Paris is making a fine recovery as well. However I had to sedate him because he refused to be still until he knew you were okay," The Doctor frowned down at her like it was her fault.

"Oh," Kathryn breathed out, now able to relax knowing her mate would survive.

'Her mate?!' Where had that thought come from? She sat up again in a panic, not able to believe what had happened to her and Tom on the planet was real. There was no scientific explanation for it.

"Captain please," the Doctor began in that condescending voice that he used for patients who wouldn't listen to him, "You must rest. You are still weak from whatever you put your body through down on that moon."

She ignored the EMH and instead looked over at Tom lying peacefully on the bed next her. She could feel the cat inside stir at the sight of him and Kathryn suddenly had the strongest urge to climb on his bed and curl up next to him.

Forcing herself to look away from him and ignore the urge, she instead turned her attention back to the Doctor. "Was there anything else you found? Something on a molecular level?" she asked through gritted teeth.

The Doctor looked at her strangely. "No. Everything was normal. Why do you ask?"

Kathryn quickly racked her brain to come up with a good excuse that would not give away her new secret. "The natives forced us to undergo some sort of ritual. I was wondering if that would have affected us in any way."

"Ah. I see. Ahem... No. The scans show nothing of the sort, but that could explain the scar."

"Scar?"

"You have somehow acquired a scar that is impervious to dermal regeneration. Here on your shoulder."

Kathryn lifted her hand to the shoulder the Doctor pointed to and could feel a long smooth scar running from the center of her scapula to her clavicle. She could remember flashes of noise and light- a growing tribal chant, a sharp claw descending towards her.

"They did this to me during the ritual."

"Mr. Paris has a matching one," the Doctor supplied. "It is possible that these locals have injected some sort chemical into you to prevent this scar from healing. I have to run more tests now." He hurried away, excited about this new medical challenge.

Kathryn thumped back down on her bed refusing to look at Tom lest she get the urge to jump him again. Instead she began creating plausible lies for her report –and Chakotay – because there was no way she was coming out and saying she (and Tom) could transform into a giant cat at will. Still thinking hard, she drifted off.

XOXOXOX

When Tom came to, he automatically looked to his right, searching for Kathryn. She wasn't there. Panicking, he sat upright and looked around the infirmary for his missing mate.

It was empty.

Frantically he leapt off his bed and began moving to the door before realizing he couldn't go sprinting through the halls in a green sickbay gown. He quickly changed directions to the replicator, so focused on his task he didn't notice the EMH step in front of him until he charged through him.

"Well excuse me Mr. Paris, but you are not well enough to go running about at your usually pace."

Tom stopped and stared at him. "Where is Kath- the Captain?"

"The Captain has released herself back to her quarters. Despite my objections."

A part of Tom relaxed fractionally at the assurance, but he still wanted to see her for himself.

"Can I go Doc? I feel fine."

"No. I can't stop the Captain from leaving, but I can stop you."

"Aw, come on Doc. I promise to go straight to my quarters and sleep."

"Mr. Paris you just woke up after being unconscious for three and a half days. You were suffering from harsh dehydration and many cuts and superficial hemorrhages. I want you here at least one more day for observation, than I will release you to your room for rest."

Tom had opened his mouth to argue when the alert of the sickbay comm system sounded.

"Janeway to Paris."

Tom's heart pounded faster at the sound of her voice. "Paris here."

"As soon as the Doctor releases you, I want to see you in my quarters."

"Affirmative. I'm on my way."

"Very well, Janeway out."

Tom grinned victoriously at the Doctor as he pulled on a fresh uniform.

"I'll catch you later Doc," he called over his shoulder as he escaped the infirmary.

XOXOXOX

Janeway fled sickbay as soon as she could, not able to stand being so near Tom without driving herself to distraction.

Although tired, she couldn't sleep anymore. Instead she paced her spacious quarters wondering how she was going to look Tom Paris in the eye after this entire fiasco.

She stopped in front of the broad window, her silky dressing gown swirling around her ankles. She didn't know how long she stood there staring out on the stars. And she didn't look up until she came to a decision on what to do.

"Janeway to Paris."

XOXOXOX

Tom Paris paced anxiously in front of Janeway's door like a caged tiger. He was beginning to wonder if this was such a good idea. The cat roared inside him, impatient to see its mate and Tom was worried that he wouldn't be able to control it. This was all still so new to him and he really didn't know where he stood with the Captain. Now that they were back on Voyager, he was sure that she would insist they forget what happened down on that moon and go back to professionals.

And the cat didn't want that. He didn't want that. He wanted to get closer to the normally closed off Captain. He couldn't explain this deep yearning. He had always respected Captain Kathryn Janeway, ever since she gave him the chance to return to the stars and then trusted him with the helm of her ship. And sure, he had noticed that she was a beautiful woman, but he had put her under the 'way-out-of-his-league' category and put it in the back of his mind. But now he thought of her with a mix of hot desire and possessive craving.

Steeling himself with a deep breath, he waved his hand in front of the panel to sound the bell within her room.

"Come."

Another deep breath and he stepped forward to activate the doors. They slid open with a slight hiss to reveal the Captain's quarters cast in the dim light darker then she usually liked to keep it at. Tom could make out her profile backlite by the patch work of bright stars beyond the ship.

He stepped across the threshold, far enough in to allow the door to slide closed behind him, but no further. Not trusting himself.

For a long moment neither said anything. And a moment more. Until Tom realized she wasn't going to speak. So he forced himself too.

"What are we going to do?"


	5. Chapter 5

**This chapter took me forever (I feel like it did) and I'm not sure if I'm happy with it, but I like the ending because it promises much more fun in the future. So please enjoy!**

"What are we going to do?"

Kathryn opened her mouth to answer him, but all her carefully planned words, all the things she needed to say, flew her mind. The cat drowned out all thoughts in her excitement to be near her mate once again.

Her knuckles turned white gripping the cushions of her couch in her effort to restrain herself from running to him. Likewise Tom was in a similar situation, his mind consumed by thoughts of pinning her down to the couch and ravishing her from here to tomorrow.

"I…" she still couldn't begin.

At the sound of her voice, Tom jolted forward a few steps before catching himself. He held himself stock still, afraid that any movements would cause her to send him from her room or worse, he would lose control and do something they would both regret.

A deep breath, "Tom I don't know what we are going to do."

He hadn't expected that. She was the Captain, she always knew what to do.

"This is so beyond the realm of science. I have no idea what is happening to us. At first I thought it was just a bed dream. But I can still feel _her_ insides me and I don't know if I can control it." She had turned to face him as her desperate words fell from her full, pouty lips and Tom was struck with a bolt of desire. But her big gray-green eyes where full of unshed tears of frustration and _fear_ and now he wanted to sweep her up in his arms and comfort her forever.

So he did. In three swift steps he was kneeing at her side, arms around her slender frame, pulling her off the couch to curl in his lap.

Katrhyn couldn't explain it, but she immediately felt better as she sensed his warmth and unique smell surround her.

Tom as well, had buried his nose in her soft hair that was beginning to fall free of her ponytail. Breathing in her scent, and surprisingly feeling relaxed now that he finally held her in his arms.

Kathryn relaxed into him, allowing the stress of the past few days to drift away, leaving her draped limply over her pilot and for the moment not caring at whit about it.

They sat there on the floor, curled around each other, for an indefinite amount of time. Tom had relaxed his head back against the couch and was struggling to keep his eyes open as he petted Kathryn's impossible soft hair. He didn't notice it at first, but as it grew in intensity he did begin to hear and feel a low humming sound.

The sound seemed to be emanating from within Kathryn. Curious, he lifted his head to look down at her, moving his hands from her head, down her sides, to wrap around her waist. Sure enough he could feel a gentle vibration coming deep from within the half asleep captain.

She was purring, Tom quickly realized. Even in her human form she had the ability to purr. He was amazed. Now he knew that the ritual that had transformed them into cats had changed their human forms as well. It was a wonder that the Doctor hadn't picked up on these changes right away.

Kathryn was just as amazed. She could feel the strong vibrations coming deep from within her, but she couldn't stop them.

She didn't want to. She felt so relaxed and they only added to it. Then she frowned as she realized exactly what these vibrations were- they were a carryover from her feline side- she was purring.

Thinking about the changes reminded her of the real reason she had called Tom to her quarters. They still had to discuss what they were going to do and how they were going to keep their paws off each other- literally.

Reluctantly she lifted her head from its place on his shoulder. "We have to talk about this." For a moment there was an internal struggle, the Captain wanting to move away, regain some sense of propriety and the cat wishing to stay wrapped around indefinitely. The Captain won.

Kathryn missed the look of profound disappointment on Tom's face as she pulled away from him to move across the room as if the distance would tamper the longing the both of them felt.

It was slightly easier for her to think without him in her line of sight so she turned her back on him, refocusing on the stars before she began to speak.

"We have to keep this a secret. I have no wish to become either a specimen for the Doctor, nor gossip fodder for the crew. I have the utmost confidence that we can still perform our jobs to the fullest. With any luck this…change will wear off soon. Obviously if the Doctor has noticed nothing different about us, the change shouldn't affect our professional lives. It is my idea that we try to ignore it the best we can."

Finished with her little speech, she twirled around to face Tom once again only to find him in the same position on the floor, staring at her, mouth agape.

"What?"

A new expression of determination came over Tom's face as he snapped his mouth shut and rose gracefully to his feet.

"No."

"No?" Kathryn bristled at his tone, "Mr. Paris, need I remind you that I am still the Captain and this is not a suggestion, this is an order."

"No," he said again, stepping closer, "I won't let you do that. You can't just cut that part of yourself out. This is permanent I know you can feel it too. We have to find a way to live with this. The cat inside will not be ignored."

Kathryn stood frozen, pinned to the spot by his intense gaze and compelling voice. She knew he was right but she was not yet ready to give up her rational side just yet and completely accept this strange change.

"No Tom," she pleaded, as he crept closer, "I can't do that yet. I cannot simply abandon my belief in science and readily accept this fanatical occurrence."

He was right in front of her now. "It's new, it's strange, we're both afraid, but we have to handle this together," he said as he gentle took her hand in his, running the other one up her arm to cup her soft cheek to stroke it gently with his thumb. "Don't shut me out."

He could feel her trembling with fear, and confusion, and want, and a thousand other colliding emotions, but he understood because he was trembling for the same reasons.

Tom slowly brought his lips down to hers in a gentle kiss. For a long moment Kathryn remained frozen under the tender pressure and Tom was beginning to worry that she wasn't going to respond at all. Then her lips parted in a sigh and Tom took that as permission to deepen the kiss, sweeping his tongue into her mouth.

But even as she relaxed into the kiss, she began to panic. She could feel her cat stirring with increasing fervor, the primal urge to mate swelling within her once more. And Tom wasn't helping, running his hands down her sides to her hips, tugging her closer so she could feel exactly how aroused he was. And somehow she had wound her arms around his neck, holding tight to him.

They pulled away slightly, both breathing heavily. Tom looked down at her, taking in the kiss swollen lips, the disheveled hair, the robe slipping off one shoulder and moved in for another kiss.

"No," she said, hands slipping down to lay flat on his chest.

"No," she repeated, stronger this time, now that she had caught her breath. "We cannot do this, Tom, for a multitude of reasons."

Tom stepped back a little to better see her face, not believing that she was still fighting this, fighting herself. He thought he had convinced her. He could see the effort it took to refuse him plainly on her face, or maybe he could feel it, so attuned to her as he now was.

"Please leave."

Confused by her mixed signals, this new change in them, the fact that she was still his captain, Tom did as she asked, slipping from her quarters on silent feet. He turned to look back at her in longing before the door slid shut to obscure his view.

He wanted nothing more than to rush back in there and sweep her in his arms, protocol, Voyager, Starfleet, and whatever else was holding her back, be damned. The cat in him roared his agreement and Tom decided then and there, he would he would make her _his_ forever. He was going to woo the Captain- Tom Paris style.


	6. Chapter 6

**I had a lot more fun writing this one, i attribute it to all that coffee I drank this morning...Please enjoy. :)**

'It was a relief to be back on the bridge, to be back in control.' Kathryn thought as she settled into her chair with a sigh.

"Happy to be back?" her first officer asked, leaning over their shared consol.

"You have no idea."

He grinned at her, showing off his charming dimples, "I think I do. You go a little crazy when you're not captaining your ship."

Janeway grinned good naturedly at him and sat back to observe her bridge.

"Where's Tom Paris?" she asked, hoping her voice didn't sound weird to everyone else as it did her.

"The Doctor asked for him this morning. Something about doing some blood work. He assured me that Mr. Paris is fine, just needed some routine checkup something or other."

She raised an eyebrow at Chakotay's answer. "That sounds a little vague for the Doctor."

He shrugged, "Maybe he's messing with his subroutines again. I'll ask B'lanna to look in on it."

"Alright," she replied absently, her mind already jumping to the worst case scenario; that soon the Doctor would call her down to sickbay and confront her on why she said nothing about her and Tom's new ability to change into a jungle cats.

The hiss of the turbolift doors opening behind her, brought her out of her thoughts and she instinctively knew it was Tom exiting the lift moments before he spoke.

"Sorry I'm late Captain, the Doctor wanted to check on something." He flashed her a cheeky grin as he moved to his place at the helm.

"Get to work Mr. Pairs." She waved a hand at him dismissively, trying to calm her pounding heart- and raging hormones- at the sight of him.

No one but Tom noticed how flustered he had made the Captain and inwardly he kept score Janeway -0, Tom and the Paris charm -1. What he didn't want to recognize is that she did the same to him _without even trying_. How just looking at her, sitting there in her command chair made him want to jump up and drag her into her ready room and ravish her until the entire ship knew she belonged to him. Tom could feel possessiveness rise up in waves and he turned around to sneak a glance at Kathryn.

Chakotay was bent over towards Janeway, lips inches away from her, whispering something that was making her smile. Jealousy slammed into Tom and he involuntarily let loose a low snarl.

Kathryn looked up at Tom, frowning, her new sharper hearing catching the almost inaudible snarl.

"Is everything alright Mr. Paris?"

"Sorry Captain, for a moment I thought Nelix's breakfast was coming back to haunt me."

"Well you know where the bathroom is Tom, but don't worry we've all been on the receiving end of those breakfasts," Chakotay said cheerfully, causing the rest of the bridge to snicker quietly (with the exception of Tuvok) and missed the significant look that passed between Captain and pilot.

Slightly chastised, but amused none the less, Tom turned back to his controls and ways to win Kathryn over. Let her think she won this one, but soon she won't know what hit her. He grinned to himself, if this small confrontation was anything to go by, this was going to be a spectacular battle of wills.

XOXOXOX

Kathryn breathed a sigh of relief as her ready room door slid shut behind her. Shift had slowly become unbearable. Tom had kept up a steady stream of his usual chatter, but now she found a double meaning in everything he said. And the quick looks of primal lust that only she seemed to catch were making her as horny as hell.

She knew he was unhappy with her decision to stay professional and she recognized that he was fighting dirty to get her to change her mind. And already she wanted to give in. Hell, she was mad at herself for setting these parameters in the first place, even as she recognized that they were necessary.

She made her way over to her replicator, coffee would go a long way to soothing this internal turmoil.

Retrieving the rich brown mixture, she brought it to her lips with a happy sigh. Taking a sip, she noticed the deep rumbling begin within her again. Surprised she almost dropped her mug. The coffee was making her purr!

XOXOXOX

Once again Tom subtly reached down and adjusted himself. He glad that Kathryn had escaped to her ready room, giving him the chance to calm down. He was kind of mad at himself for reacting so easily to her. Never before had he so little control when it came a woman. But he was also pleased with himself. He could tell he was getting to her by the bright color high on her cheeks.

He couldn't wait for the end of shift, he just had to get the timing right…

XOXOXOX

Twenty minutes past alpha shift and Kathryn was confident that Tom was off the bridge and in a safely avoidable place like the mess hall.

She exited her ready room waving at Tuvok to stay in the command chair. "I'm off to my quarters for the night. You have the bridge Mr. Tuvok."

She stepped into the turobo lift and froze for a moment, staring at Tom Paris. Then quickly she collected herself, gave him a stiff nod, "Mr. Paris," and turned her back on him, calling out the deck her quarters where on.

Tom grinned. Perfect timing, he knew her all too well. Slowly he crept closer until there was barely an inch between her back and his chest.

Kathryn stiffened, sensing the wall of heat behind her and fought the urge to lean back against him.

Bending so that his lips brushed her ear, he whispered, "I missed you once you left the bridge. All I could think about was charging into your ready room and taking you on your desk. Hard." He pushed his hips into her and her breathing hitched as she felt his arousal hard and hot against her lower back.

The doors hissed open and Tom quickly moved away. "This is your stop Captain. I'd love to stay and _talk_ but I have a date," she turned to look back at him at his words, automatically jealous that he might be spending time with another woman, but as the doors closed she caught the rest of his sentence, "…with my hand."

Shocked at his audacity and more than a little turned on, she stood staring for a good five minutes before shaking herself and fleeing to her cabin.

XOXOXOX

Tom slumped against the turbolift wall, quickly changing his destination to his quarters; there was no way he could go to the mess with such a raging hard on.

Overall he considered the day a success. He was confident that Kathryn Janeway would be in his arms- and his bed- before the week was out.

Whistling happily, he exited the turbolift and made his way to his quarters. Entering, he glanced around, shrugging at the mess, knowing it was getting out of hand and desperately needed to be cleaned up. Instead of doing so, he began walking to his sonic shower dropping clothes as he went.

"Kim to Paris."

Annoyed Tom stopped and went back, digging around until he came up his uniform jacket, combadge still attached.

"Paris here. What do you want Harry?"

"I thought you wanted to meet for an episode of Captain Proton."

"Oh Shit. I'm sorry buddy, it completely flew my mind. Can I take a rain check? I'm exhausted and I still have to write my report about what happened on that moon. Otherwise the Captain will have my head." Tom grinned at his private joke.

"That's fine Tom, but B'lanna is pissed that you missed dinner with us. I'd stay out of her way for awhile, she's been having a bad day." he paused then continued on, "What happened on that moon anyways? You never said."

"Thanks for the heads up. But I'm not leaving my cabin tonight. I have things to take care of," Tom replied, ignoring Harry's question.

"Sure thing. See you tomorrow Tom. Kim out."

Tom resumed his course to the shower, he wasn't lying when he said he had things to take care of.


	7. Chapter 7

**I wrote this super late at night -curse the coffee!- but I think its respectable. so enjoy!**

It was three and half weeks later and the sexual tension was so thick that even innocent Harry Kim was beginning to wonder.

"How have you been feeling? Cuz you don't look to good." Harry set his tray down across from Tom.

"Gee Harry you sure know how to make a guy feel good about himself," Tom snapped back.

Harry exchanged a look with B'lanna who was sitting next to Paris. They both thought it had something to do with that moon he and the Captain had been stranded on. Their reports about it were vague, both claiming not to remember much after the natives captured them. They knew they had been subjected to some sort of ritual, entire ship knew and for awhile the most popular subject on the lower decks was exactly what the ritual had entailed.

And while the Doctor could find nothing wrong with the Captain and the pilot- but for the strange scars- Tom's friends were worried about the after effects of this mysterious ritual.

Harry kicked B'lanna under the table to get her to talk to their friend. "Come on Paris, Harry is right, you're not looking so hot. You haven't for about a week now. What's going on? You sick or something?"

Tom looked up at his best friends, eyes rimmed with dark circles. "I haven't been sleeping much lately," he shrugged and went back to picking at his food.

In truth Kathryn's continued rejection was getting to him. At first he had pursued her like he had the countless women before. But during the past week, he was getting frustrated at the lack of results and the worst part was that she needed him as much as he needed her. Yet she wouldn't give in.

He couldn't continue much longer like this. He needed her like he needed air. The cat within him was going crazy, unable to get near his mate. For days he could feel the change bubbling just under his skin and he fought with all his energy to keep the feline under control. He was afraid to sleep at night, afraid that he might change in his sleep and try to get to Janeway.

Still lost in his thoughts, he stood and walked away from the table without a word, leaving his friends staring after him, bewildered by his strange behavior.

XOXOXOX

Kathryn collapsed onto her bed glad beyond reason that shift was over. The tension on the bridge was stifling and escaping to her ready room helped very little.

For over two weeks Tom Paris had subtly pursued her like he was the hunter and she, the prey. It was thrilling and exhausting. Each night she would lie in bed and rub herself to release, trying not to picture Tom, and failing, as she orgasmed.

But now she simply couldn't hold him at bay, mentally or physically, any longer. Her cat was howling for her mate and she was so close to giving. Yet somehow through her iron will she still managed to refuse his advances.

She noticed this stalemate was also taking its toll on Tom. While she could hide the dark circles and puffiness under foundation and makeup, Tom was being to look like hell warmed over.

As she crawled under the blankets, she resolved to talk to him tomorrow, they couldn't continue like this anymore.

XOXOXOX

Kathryn woke slowly, feeling more rested then she had for weeks now. She shrugged off the thin sheet and lurched forward on her forepaws stretching her body in a satisfying back-popping way she felt from nose to tail.

Tail?! She had gone to sleep in her human form and woke up in her cat one. Freaked, she leapt off the bed and tried to change back.

Nothing happened.

Frantic now, she tore about her quarters still trying to change back. What is she was stuck in this form? Had she repressed the cat too much and now she was unable to change back? Shift started in thirty minutes and she was hysterical with panic.

XOXOXOX

Tom bolted up and out of his bed, his heart pounding. He couldn't explain it, but he knew something was very wrong. He could sense Kathryn's panic and knew he had to get there as soon as possible. He sprinted to the door, not bothering to grab a robe to cover his bare chest.

Luckily he met no one in the halls as he ran to the Captain's cabin. Using his medical emergency override to gain entrance, he burst into the dark chambers ready to confront any threat to his mate.

Kathryn sensed the intrusion and fear of being caught as a cat overrode every other sense. Quickly she dove for a dark alcove, curling herself into a trembling ball, hoping against hope that she wouldn't be found.

Cautiously Tom crept through the room, sensing Kathryn and her fear, but confused about the cause. His sharpened senses picked her out, hiding in a tight, little corner. As he got closer he saw that she was in her cat form.

Gently he knelt down in front of her and reached out a hand to place it softly on her flank. He could feel her trembling violently and he was overcome by the urge to protect her so that she never felt this kind of fear again.

Kathryn recognized the intruder and relaxed fractionally knowing he was there. She belly crawled out of her hiding place to wrap herself around his comforting human body.

Tom held her head in his lap and gently stroked her face and ears, trying to get her to calm down. He could feel the tremors slowly subside as he kept up his soothing petting.

"It's alright Kathryn. It's going to be alright. I'll protect you."

Tom felt the massive cat form shiver and dissolve to leave a petite, naked woman in his arms. Relieved beyond belief, she threw herself at him, burying her nose into his chest with a sob.

"I thought I was stuck in that form forever. I couldn't change back. I tried, but I couldn't do it! I didn't know what to do. I thought Chakotay or Tuvok would come in here looking for me and find me like that."

Tom felt her hot tears drip onto his bare chest as he stroked her hair, offering what comfort he could. "It's ok baby. I'll always protect you. I won't let you get stuck like that." He continued petting and talking soothingly until he felt her relax fully against him.

"Thank you," she whispered almost inaudibility.

Tom tucked his fingers under her chin, lifting her tear stained face to meet his. "Any time," he said with a small grin. She matched it with a slightly shaky grin of her own.

Slowly, giving her plenty of time to pull away, Tom bent down and touched his lips to hers in a tender kiss. Kathryn didn't pull away, rather she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer, craving the contact. But instead of deepening the kiss, Tom moved back a little and stared down at her seriously.

"Are you going to be okay?"

Once again she buried her face in his chest and he could feel her nod.

"Yes."

"Good."

He went back to stroking her hair and back, loosing track of the time they sat there in the dark, wrapped around each other.

"Tuvok to Captain Janeway"

Kathryn stiffened in Tom's arms. "Oh shit," she whispered as she sat up straighter.

"Janeway here."

"Captain it is twenty minutes past shift start. Will you be captaining the bridge today?"

"Oh course Tuvok. I will be along shortly. Tom Paris stopped me. He wants to pick my brain on a new shuttle design."

Tom stared at her, shocked and amused at how she could sound so professional while sitting naked in his lap.

"Very well Captain. Tuvok out."

Kathryn noticed his stare and quirked an eyebrow at him. "What is it? You have the strangest look on your face."

"You," he said, hugging her tight to him, "You're amazing."

Kathryn laughed aloud, deep and throaty as she pulled away from him and rose to her feet, "Come on. I bought us some time, but if I'm not up on the bridge soon, Tuvok will send a security team out after me." She sauntered into her bedroom, knowing Tom's eyes were on her nude form. "And tonight, after shift, you'll come back here and we'll have a long overdue talk."


	8. Chapter 8

**For a short chapter, this took awhile. Enjoy!**

"Come."

Kathryn's eyes widened in surprise at the visitor in her doorway. "Tom, I didn't expect you so soon. I just got off the bridge." It was the truth. She was still impeccably dressed in her uniform, having arrived in her quarters moments before Tom.

He grinned at her as he pushed past into her cabin. "I know. But I figured we have a lot to talk about and shouldn't put it off any longer."

"Alright. You have me convinced. But first we eat. I'm starving."

Tom looked at her curiously, "Starving? You never eat. It's no surprise."

Kathryn playfully slapped at him. "I already have Chakotay and the Doctor to remind me about my eating habits, I don't need you to tell me the same."

Tom para-mimed zipping his lips shut. "My lips are sealed Captain. Now, why don't you change into something more comfortable and I'll order something delicious from the replicator, my treat."

He moved over to the replicator as Kathryn slipped into her bedroom. Tom quickly programmed a large amount of food, thinking that what she doesn't eat, he will. Lately he had been eating double of what he used to and he always felt small hunger pangs, even an hour after his large meals.

Tom had set the last dish on the table when Janeway reappeared, clad simply in soft, loose pants and a t-shirt. Dinner was a quiet affair, both focused intently on their food. Tom was amazed at how much Kathryn put away. She saw him staring and tried to defend herself.

"I've been starving all the time lately. It's probably my body trying to catch up on all those meals I tend to miss."

"When did you start eating so much?"

"About four weeks ago I guess."

"Right after we were rescued from that moon?"

"Yeah. It was. Do you think that we have to eat more to compensate for the huge changes our bodies have undergone?" Kathryn jumped to her feet, excited now, "Or perhaps we need the energy food gives us to maintain our current conditions."

Tom leaned back in his chair and watched Kathryn prowl about the room. "Or maybe jungle cats eat a lot of food."

She shot him a look that clearly said 'No shit.'

"Well, since we're on the subject, I've been doing some thinking," Tom drawled, "And I think I know why you lost control last night."

"Do tell," she deadpanned.

"I have a theory. Right now our higher brain power as humans allows us to control the cat. But kept under such a tight rein for a long amount of time will cause a buildup of…tension and it will eventually break free when we have less have power over it, such as when we sleep. So to control the cat, we must allow it some freedom."

"Are you suggesting we transform regularly?" Kathryn was dismayed. She wanted this to go away, not manifest into something beyond her control. "I can't accept that."

"Kathryn, this isn't going to go away!" Tom was amazed at her stubbornness. "So unless you want to go to the Doctor about all this, then we have to work something out."

She whirled on him, "No one is to know! We have to find a way to get rid of our condition ourselves."

"I don't know that we can. I believe this may be permanent."

His words caused Kathryn to pace faster, anger apparent in her body language. Looking closer he noticed that her skin was shivering slightly and he realized that if he didn't get her to calm down then he was going to have one big, mad feline on his hands.

"Kathryn, please, sit down. I have reason to believe that emotions may be a factor as well."

She paused, realizing he was right. She could feel the cat just below her skin, itching to break free and tear something to shreds. Stalking over to her couch, she threw herself down on it and forced herself to take deep breaths.

"Alright Tom, how the hell are we going to handle this. I'm still the Captain. I don't have time to run off to change into cat for a few hours every day. And I can't live on this emotional rollercoaster, there are times I want to tear something to shreds and other times when I see you I…" she trailed off, embarrassed that she might have given too much away.

"Don't worry, the feeling is mutual," Tom gave her his trademark grin and watched as she relaxed when she realized he was going let her off the hook… this time. Now came the hard part. He drew in a deep breath and said, "So you agree that we have to allow ourselves to change? We need to learn control." He saw Janeway open her mouth to speak and rushed on before she could get a word in, "What if we don't learn control and during a crisis, one of us breaks down and changes right on the bridge or something. If you want to keep this a secret, we'll need to learn how to hide it."

Kathryn turned away from him to look out at the stars. For a long moment, nothing was said. A moment more and Tom was getting inpatient. Just as he went to talk again, she finally spoke.

"I suppose you are right. I was so dead set against it, I didn't think it through," she admitted softly. She turned to face him once again, squaring her shoulders in what could only be described as a resolute fashion. "Meet me on the holodeck after shift tomorrow. We'll just say we're trying out some new flight simulations."

Tom smiled broadly and moved to sit next to her, catching her hand in his. "I'm glad you came around," he teased, "This is going to be fun."

"Fun?" Janeway repeated faintly.

"It's exciting and new and dangerous and I'm doing it with you. So yeah, fun."

Kathryn cocked her head at him, taking in his face alight with excitement, his sweet words, his thumb sweeping over the soft skin on the back of her hand and was filling with a rushing desire to kiss him.

Tom seemed to feel the same thing and leaned in closer, giving her plenty of time to pull away. She couldn't. Instead she watched his lips get closer and could only wait helplessly to meet them. His lips touched hers in the slightest of kisses, yet both felt the contact rocket through their bodies.

Bolder, Tom slowly increased the pressure of the kiss, but took it no further. It was Kathryn who slid her tongue along his lips, wordlessly asking permission to enter. Permission granted. Tom allowed her to control the pace, enjoying the sensual glide of her tongue against his. Blood was rushing quickly to his groin and he knew if he didn't stop now, he would never stop.

Regretfully he pulled away, feeling a surge of male pride at hearing the whimper she made as contact was relinquished.

"Good night Captain," he called over his shoulder as he strode to the door, not daring to look back at her, knowing if he did, he would go back into her arms and never let go, "I'll see you on the bridge for Alpha shift."


	9. Chapter 9

**Sorry this took so long, but I needed to be properly inspired ;) WARNING: graphic sex scenes. Please enjoy. (oh and sorry if there are errors, I was in a rush to post this)**

Kathryn couldn't sleep that night. Giving up on lying down, she threw off the covers with a huff and began prowling around the room, Tom's words echoing in her head. She was tempted to go to the bridge but knew the gamma shift would be jumpy under the eye of the captain and that would only serve to irritate her further.

Beginning to feel caged, she decided to stop running from her problems and face them head on. Right now.

"Computer are there any holodecks free?"

"Affirmative. Holodeck two is available until 0700."

"Perfect. Computer, reserve holodeck two for Captain Janeway. Alpha two two."

Swiftly she changed into loose pants and tunic and stuffing her feet into her boots, wishing she could go barefoot but knowing any crewman she past in the halls might die of shock upon seeing her bright red toenails.

She moved quickly through the halls, now excited about her newest experiment. She choose her program and stepped through the holodeck doors into a huge meadow lined sparsely with aspens. Kathryn drew in a breath of clean air that was blowing off the mountains looming around her valley.

"Computer lock out all visual, audio, and biological readings, authorization Janeway phi three beta."

The computer beeped its affirmative as Janeway stripped and left her clothing in a neat pile by the arch. Wading through the long grass, she looked inside her for her cat, wondering how the hell she was going to start the change herself.

She allowed the cat to overwhelm her senses like before, yet this time she remained in control. She could feel muscle and bone shifting and while it didn't hurt, the feeling was still disconcerting.

The transformation complete, Kathryn then realized her and her cat were one in the same. Up until then she had thought of the cat as an invading, individual entity rather than a facet of her personality. Feeling more secure in her own skin- so to speak- she gave a big stretch, wiggling her haunches in the air before launching forward in a run. Bounding through the meadow, she allowed the tension and worries that had been haunting her recently drain away and began to simply enjoy the experience of running freely.

She whirled suddenly, sharp ears picking up the subtle hiss of the doors opening. She was sure she had locked the doors. Scared now, that she would be discovered, she crouched down in the grass at the base of a tree. Kathryn held herself motionless, all senses on alert for something out of the ordinary.

Nothing.

She knew as soon as she relaxed, that it was a mistake, because that was when 400 plus pounds of giant cat can flying out the tree behind and there was no time to react. Tom trapped her easily to the ground with his bigger, heavier frame and Kathryn, snarling beneath him, couldn't dislodge him no matter how much she wiggled and squirmed. Realizing her efforts were futile, she tried a different tact. She began licking Tom's paw which was planted in the ground next to her face.

No one was more surprised than Tom as he began to purr. Annoyed at his response and knowing Kathryn was laughing at him, he batted playfully at her head to get to her to stop. Kathryn persisted until she felt him relax instinctually. Then she made her move. Bucking up on strong back legs, she managed to dislodge Tom's heavy weight enough to sneak out from beneath him. But instead of running, she turned and pounced. Tom roared and wrestled back playfully.

The two cats rolled across the meadow, neither really gaining the upper hand. While Tom was heavy and strong, Kathryn was light and swift on her feet, running circles around Tom. Finally they came to a rest with Kathryn resting on top of Tom, both panting lightly from their tussling.

If on cue, both of their cat forms shimmered away, leaving them a tangled pile of naked flesh. Kathryn propped herself up on his broad chest and looked down at him, still breathing slightly hard.

"How did you know I was here?"

"I was dreaming of running."

Kathryn smiled down at him and this time Tom didn't ignore his impulses. Surging up, he captured her lips in a fierce kiss, wrapping his arms around her delicate waist to pull her flush against his chest.

Kathryn whimpered softly as she felt the erotic slid of his tongue against hers and tried to press closer, all thoughts of where they were and their responsibilities fleeing her mind. She could feel herself growing wet as Tom ran his hands up and down her back before digging them in her long, soft hair to keep her attached to his lips.

A twist of his hips had her pinned beneath him once again, but this time she wasn't protesting. Rather, Kathryn wrapped a leg around his, trying to bring him closer. Tom obliged causing Kathryn to gasp as she felt his hard member press into her hip. He kissed his way down the pale column of her throat before biting down gently, instinctively pleased at the mark he knew he was making.

Moaning, she arched her back, wordlessly asking him to pay attention to her aching breasts. Teasing her, Tom instead captured her lips in a deep kiss until they were both out of breath. He ran his hand up her body to caress a boob gently. Kathryn pushed herself into his hand, seeking a harder touch but Tom kept it light.

"Tom…" she breathed in his ear.

Giving into her, he bent down and began placing tiny kisses around her breasts, paying special attention to the undersides where she was very sensitive.

"Yes, Tom…" Kathryn gasped, feeling moisture drip from her pussy, her core aching to be filled and soon.

Finally Tom took a nipple in his mouth, swirling his tongue around it before biting down none to gently. Kathryn yelped at the burst of pain that seemed to amplify her pleasure. Tom laved the hurt with his tongue and then switched over to the other breast, giving it the same treatment. He continued until she could stand it no more, her hands gripping his hair, indecisive on whether to keep him there or push him away from her oversensitive chest.

He slid his fingers through the dark curls covering her mound before slipping between her lips, immediately hitting her clit causing her to twitch in his arms.

"Now Tom," she begged, "I can't wait any longer."

Still he ignored her pleas, pushing first one, then two fingers in her tight, warm pussy. Kathryn was out of her mind with pleasure. It had been years since she had been touched this way. Tom's thumb found her clit again and she was lost. Waves of pleasure surged within her and her mind went blank as the orgasm swept through her.

Tom kissed her lightly as she came down from her high, his fingers still within. And as good as that felt, Kathryn was desperate for him to be inside her. Impatient, she reached down and grabbed his rock hard erection, caressing the hot flesh. Tom groaned involuntary and thrust into her soft hand.

"Now Tom," she commanded, positioning him at her entrance. "Hard."

Tom did as his captain had commanded and thrust forward hard, groaning at the stimulating feeling of her silky walls surrounding him. Kathryn moaned with him, the pain at being abstinent for so long melting into hot spicy pleasure. Not allowing her a moment to adjust, he instead began pounding into her, the urge to mate completely overwhelming his senses.

Kathryn dug her nails into his back and wrapped her legs around his, trying to pull him deeper, too hold him closer. She was fast approaching her second orgasm when Tom reached down and rubbed her clit, at the same time biting down on a nipple. Her orgasm hit her unexpectedly and hit her hard. Kathryn threw her head back in a wordless shout, her inner muscles rippling around Tom's cock. He buried his face in the crook of her neck and thrust twice more before spilling his hot seed deep inside her.

They held tight to one another as they slowly returned to reality, their breaths slowly return to normal. Kathryn could feel him soften inside her but was unwilling to break the connection. That is until the cold voice of the computer broke through their afterglow haze.

"The time is now 0655. Holodeck time will expire in five minutes."

Kathryn pulled quickly away from Tom in a panic, it now hitting home what they had done. She scrambled for her clothing as the illusion dissolved around them, leaving them stark naked against the cold harsh lines of the holodeck.

Tom could only stare at her nude form, wishing they could do it again.

Now dressed and almost out the door, Kathryn turned back to Tom who was now slowly pulling on his own uniform, wanting to say something, but didn't know what to say. Her captain's voice told her to tell him it would never happen again, but Kathryn wanted it to happen again, craved it already. So instead she snapped her mouth shut and slipped out the door.


	10. Chapter 10

**So I finally got around to writting another chapter. This has in no way been edited. Sorry. Please enjoy!!!**

Tom couldn't keep the smile off his face as he walked jauntily to the mess hall for dinner. He hadn't seen Kathryn since their "impromptu" meeting this morning, but he was looking forward to their scheduled holodeck time this evening. But first, food. He was starving and he had a feeling it had to do with the massive amount of energy spent rolling around on the holodeck with his mate. Just thinking about made him grin harder.

"Why are you so happy?" His friend's voice demanded.

Tom looked at Harry Kim surprised. He hadn't noticed his friend exit the turolift to fall into step besides him. Knowing he couldn't tell his best friend the truth, he quickly thought up a plausible lie.

"The Captain and I are meeting in the holodeck tonight to work on the designs for a new shuttle. I have this awesome idea!"

"Well better you then me," Kim said glumly.

Tom looked at him curiously. "Why do you say that?"

"The Captain was in an absolute frenzy today. Even Chakotay looked miserable. She had us doing unnecessary checks and tests two or three times before she would accept our reports. She seemed almost irrationally angry." Kim sighed, "I'm just glad to be off the bridge. I am exhausted."

Tom frowned, wondering what had gotten into her- besides him- but one look at his depressed friend made him decide to think about it later. Giving Harry a big grin, he threw his arm around his shoulder and steered Harry in the direction of the mess.

"What do you say to topping off a bad day with so questionable home cooked meal? I hear Neelix is trying to add his own twist to grilled cheese."

"Oh no," Harry groaned, grinning a little himself now, "How can he mess up a classic like grilled cheese?"

XOXOXOX

She stood him up. Janeway was a very punctual person, so after waiting twenty minutes he realized that she had stood him. Normally Tom could shrug this kind of thing off and go find Harry for a game of pool. But the cat within was furious that his mate was still trying to avoid him.

Tom stalked down Voyager's corridors, snarling under his breath. His muscles twitched under his shivering skin and he knew if he didn't get a hold of himself, he was going to lose control. Luckily he arrived at the Captain's door and let himself in using the medical override.

Kathryn whirled to face him from her place in front of the replicator, angry at the invasion of her private space.

"How dare you! Get out of my quarters!"

"No." Tom strode to where she stood with her hands on her hips, glaring at him, and began to crowd her personal space.

Kathryn regretted kicking off her boots when Tom towered over her petite frame, his scent surrounded her, reminding just how good this morning was and how much she still craved him. Normally Kathryn would back down from no one, but it was her fear of her own desire that made her step back until her back hit the bulkhead and she had nowhere left to go.

Tom watched her back away with darkening eyes; eyes that swept over her trembling form in anger and lust intermingled. "Why do you keep denying this?" he asked in a low, dangerous voice.

Kathryn shivered as his voice washed over her, not sure if she was trembling in fear or arousal. She was held immobile against the wall as he stalked slowly towards like a hunter about to pounce on his prey.

"Why do you have to fight this?"

He was in front of her now, mere centimeters between them.

"You know that you are _mine,_" he breathed into her ear.

At his words, Kathryn's eyes lit up with fire. "I belong to no one," she hissed, bringing her hands up to push him away.

Faster then she could blink, Tom had grabbed her by the wrists and pinned them to the wall above her head.

"I cannot live like this anymore Kathryn," he growled into her face, "I crave you. I need you by my side with every fiber of my being. I get irrationally jealous and angry if another man comes near you. I can sense your strongest feelings and I know you are feeling the same things as me." And he swooped down to capture her lips in a fierce kiss.

He pressed harder, swiping his tongue over the tight seal of her lips until she granted him entrance with a moan. The feline side of Kathryn yowled with happiness yet a smaller, deeper part of her refused to be dominated and claimed.

Before she was really thinking about her actions, she was twisting out of Tom's grasp, throwing him off her, and running towards the door.

A low growl from behind was all the warning she got before she was slammed up against the door, the lean hard body of her mate pressed up tight against her, unable to move. Still she attempted to struggle, feeling the hot brand of his erection rubbing her lower back. Against her will, she began to feel aroused, her nipples hardening and wetness gathering between her thighs until Kathryn didn't know if she wanted to fight Tom or fuck him.

Tom made that decision for her. Pinning both small wrists in one hand, he slid the other hand under her Starfleet issue shirt and silky non-regulation bra to cup a full breast. Kathryn bit back a moan as he rolled her sensitive nipple between his fingers.

Breathing roughly into her ear, Tom spoke, "I know you can feel this instant connection between us. I cannot live without you any longer. You are mine."

Kathryn stiffened at his words and Tom could feel her closing herself off from him. This caused his anger to rise in him again. Swiftly he spun her around to face him, still pressing her into the door. Face to face they stared at each other, eyes blazing.

"You are mine!" Tom roared in her face, "But what you don't understand is that I am yours!" Then dropping his voice to a whisper, he said, "I love you."

Knowing she heard his admission, he turned his head to the side, scared to meet her eyes. And Kathryn herself was at a loss for words. She had thought that it was the feline mating instincts and a whole lot of lust that was driving them on, but as she thought about it she started to realize how much she enjoyed Tom's presence at her side every day.

He was the first one who made her laugh. Not a forced smile, but a full deep laugh that reminds you that you're human not a machine created out of Starfleet protocol. He was the only one she fully trusted to pilot her ship. He was the one she fully trusted to fly her ship through a melee and get them out without a scratch to the hull. Even before their ordeal on the moon, he saw past the Captain persona and she had always been grateful for that. Looking back now she couldn't deny that there had been sparks. Tom was right. The ritual had bonded them tight and Kathryn realized she was okay with it. The comfort (not to mention the sex) Tom gave her was enough to break through her tough exterior to her heart.

Decision made, Kathryn in usual style decided not to wait any longer. She launched herself at Tom, kissing his lips with bruising force. Tom, who had been waiting for Kathryn reject for a final time, was caught off guard when the redhead threw herself at him. Consequently he went flying back, pulling Kathryn along with him. The breath knocked out him as he hit the floor hard, his mate landing on top of him.

Kathryn's lips never left his. She really didn't care where they were, all she cared about was Tom being inside of her. Now. She could feel the change hovering just under her skin and her mating instincts kicked in full force. Her finger nails lengthening into claws as she dragged them down his chest, tearing his shirt from him savagely.

Tom was slightly amazing at the change in Kathryn, but he wasn't complaining. Her wild actions incited the fire in his blood and he quickly returned the favor, sitting up and ripping her shirt from her body, the bra following before latching onto a breast.

Kathryn threw her head back and moaned in pleasure, her hands clinging tightly to his shoulder hard enough to leave bruises. She could feel his hot erection through the layers of their pants and she ground down on his lap, causing him to bite down on her nipple as pleasure surged through him. Kathryn felt as though she going to explode just from the attention Tom was lavishing her in breast. Pushing him back down to the floor, she palmed his erection before fumbling with the fastening of his pants. Pushing the fabric down his legs, she left him to fumble with him boots while she shed her own pants.

Tom reached for her as she straddled him once again, but she batted his hands away. Instead she reached for his cock, running it through her dripping folds, teasing them both. Then she could take it no more and positioned him at her entrance and dropped down on him hard.

They both groaned aloud at the pleasure surging through them at the renewed contact. This time when Tom's hands went to her hips, she allowed the touch as she began to move up and down his shaft with increasing force.

Tom thrust his hips to meet her and they fell into a pounding rhythm. He could tell that she was close to the edge and he dragged one hand through her curls to thumb her clit. She came with a scream, back arching and head thrown back as her body trembled in orgasm. Tom watched in amazement at this beautiful creature writhing on top of him.

'And she is all mine,' he thought as a wave of possessiveness swept through him. As she can down from her high, Tom rolled her beneath him and began pounding into her again. Kathryn could feel the estacy building in her core. Then Tom began to kiss and suck her neck until he bit down on her sensitive spot.

Kathryn was surprised at the power of the orgasm that thundered through her and she cried her mate's name as she flew apart in his arms. The delicious feel of her muscles fluttering around him sent Tom into a frenzy and he followed his mate over the edge into bliss.

They basked in the aftermath, lying on the ground, nuzzling and softly kissing each other as the sweat dried on their bodies. Tom smiled down at his mate half asleep in his arms and knew in his heart that he could never leave her. Swiftly he stood and scoped Kathryn up in his arms, carrying her into the bed room. He tossed her onto the bed and quickly climbed in behind her, still worried that she would reject him.

She surprised him when she flipped around to face him and cuddled into his chest. Tom grinned in happiness and wrapped an arm around her, pulling her in closer. He was still smiling as he drifted off into sleep.

**A/N: Ok I have so many great ideas for this story, but I hate how long it takes me to write it. So I don't know if I should end this one here and start a sequal that would be set post endgame or keep going with this story. I change my mind every time I sit down to write, so I guess its going to be a surprise. Anyways reviews are love. :)**


	11. Chapter 11

**Yay another chapter done, I guess I'm not as dead to this story as I thought. I wanted to write some other crew interaction so I hope this satisfies. As always this was completed during another bout of insommia and is unbetaed. Please enjoy!**

Tom was awoken by a thrumming purr, a sound far below the range of normal human hearing. He grinned down at his sleeping mate who was sprawled across his chest, one leg tucked between his. He ran his hand through her long tangled hair and began to laugh as her purrs increased. He could get used to waking up like this.

Kathryn blinked slowly and rubbed her nose into her mate's chest, inhaling his spicy feline scent greedily. She could feel herself purring because of the divine feeling of hands running through her hair and found she didn't mind as much as she had the past few days. Maybe she was finally coming to accept these changes.

She raised her head to meet the bright blue eyes of her lover. "No more running," she promised in a whisper. She could feel him rumble a purr deep in his chest in happiness as he pulled her up his body to kiss her passionately.

Kathryn moaned in his mouth at the arousal he instantly sparked in her. Tom slid his hands from her hair to her hips to tug her closer, trapping his morning erection between their bodies. And as they moved in for another kiss, the alarm rang.

Immediately Kathryn leapt from the bed, half startled and half from years of habit. In a flash Tom moved forward and grabbed her around the wrist to keep her from starting her morning routine. She looked down at his hand then looked back up at him, raising an eyebrow.

"This…thing between us cannot interfere with our responsibilities and duties."

"I know, but I can't help wanting to pull you back in this bed and not let you leave for a week…" Tom trailed off, growling low and possessive in his throat.

Kathryn's heart jolted at his words and she was sorely tempted to let him do just that. But then her rational side overrode her hormonal one and she shook her arm free.

"You can use my replicator to get a clean uniform," she told him as she moved into the bathroom.

"What, I don't get a shower?" Tom lounged back in the bed and admired her lithe form. Then he bolted from the bed and chased after her. "Kathryn wait," he said grabbing her by the shoulder and spinning her to face him.

"Tom," she said, annoyance creeping into her voice, "I don't have time for this. I need to be on the bridge in 30 minutes. And so do you."

Tom ignored her, focusing his attention on the dark bruises and bright red scratches he just noticed peppering her body.

"I hurt you," he said softly.

Kathryn looked down at herself, "Oh."

Then she shrugged. "You should look in a mirror. I think some of those scratches on your back will need a dermal regenerator." Seeing Tom's downcast face, she grinned at him, "I give as good as I get." And with that she sauntered into the bathroom and let the door slide shut behind her.

Tom gave the closed door a funny look and told it, "She always manages to surprise me." Then he turned away shaking his head at talking to doors and went to get himself a new uniform.  
XOXOXOX

After tiding up her main room, erasing the evidence of what had happened there last night, Tom ran out of reasons to wait around. Resigning himself to the fact that he wouldn't get to see her as Kathryn until then next time they managed to get time alone, Tom stepped out of her quarters and came face to face with Chakotay. Kathryn, who had just stepped out her bathroom fully dressed, felt his surge of panic and sprinted to the door to help her mate.

"Tom, you forgot your calculations," she said handing him a blank padd she had snatched up on race to the door. "I think this design needs more energy power then warpcore can hold. See if you can't find a way around that." She tried to make it sound like they had spent their early morning discussing shuttle engines not cuddling after a night of almost violent passion.

She turned to her first officer who was still looking at them curiously. "Good morning Chakotay. Tom thought he could butter me up with coffee so that I would look at his newest crazy design for a new shuttle."

"Good morning Captain," Chakotay said, "You know I wouldn't mind looking at these shuttle designs myself. Maybe you can bring some of your ideas to my office today Lieutenant."

The hairs on the back of Tom's neck rose and he had to fight the urge to pull Kathryn in his arms and tell Chakotay to get lost. He recognized the power play the ex-marquis was trying to make. Kathryn's eyes flashed in warning so all Tom could do was reply, "Yes sir. I'll stop by after shift. See you on the bridge, Captain, Commander." And he forced himself to walk down the hall away from the one person he never wanted to leave.

XOXOXOX

They did their best to act normal, but there was something in the air that was slightly off. Maybe it was the fact that the Captain and her pilot were hyper aware of each other.

Tom sat rigid in his chair, alert for any movement made by the female presence sitting behind him. Kathryn, for her part, couldn't sit still. Crossing and uncrossing her legs, tapping a finger nail against the edge of the padd she was trying to read, doing anything to avoid staring at the blond head sitting at the helm.

She saw Chakotay glance at her yet again as she shifted restlessly in her chair. "Feeling restless?" her first officer questioned.

Kathryn leaned over the shared consol to speak softly to the commander, "To be honest with you, yes, I am feeling a little restless. There hasn't been much action since you rescued us from that moon. I'm starting to think the doctor is conspiring against me by asking this region of space to play nice."

Chakotay laughed at her words and out of the corner of her eye, she saw Tom's shoulders stiffen in anger and jealousy. Abruptly she pulled back, not wanting her mate to do anything drastic. Then she frowned at her thought process.

Chakotay noticed her withdrawal and scowl and reached out to touch her on the arm. "Is everything ok?"

Tom's hands clenched on the controls and the ship was jolted sideways, throwing everyone about. Kathryn climbed to her feet, and barked out orders.

"What the hell was that?"

His fingers flew over the controls to get them back on course. "Sorry Captain, hit a eddy or something. Not really sure."

Kathryn glared at him, she knew exactly what it had been. "Mr. Kim, please scan the surrounding area and bring your report to me in my ready room when you are done." With that she spun on her heel and marched into her office.

She left a silence on the bridge in her wake and for a moment every just stared at her closed doors before Paris turned to Harry and said, "Better you to go in the dragon's cave then me."

There were a few soft chuckles at Harry's slightly scared look as the crew went back to work and it felt like a huge cloud of tension had been lifted.

XOXOXOX

"You know, if we're going to use the excuse that we're building a shuttle together, I figured it would be good to have some proof of that." Tom had burst into the Captain's ready room moments before, waving a handful of pads excitedly.

Kathryn looked up from the monitor on her desk and blinked at him. It was well into gamma shift and she had no idea she had been working for so long. Ship's business kept drawing her deeper and deeper into the piles of reports in front of her.

"When did you find the time to work on those?" she asked as she rubbed her eyes.

Tom gave her a look. "Alpha shift and Beta shift have been over for some time now," he informed her, "But I have had some ideas lying around for some time now. We should actually build this shuttle. I would give us an excuse to spend time together and we could use another one. Before Chakotay crashes them all."

Kathryn yawned. "Okay. But not tonight."

Tom immediately moved to her side, concern filling his voice, "You look tired. You don't have to work yourself to the bone every night."

She gave him a wry look, "Well I don't recall getting much sleep last night, but I do remember getting worked to the bone…"

Tom laughed, "You are insatiable." He pulled her out of her chair and swatted her ass as he pushed her towards the door. "Off to bed with you."

The gamma shift crew looked up in surprise to see their Captain exit her ready room with the chief pilot, both of them laughing. They hadn't even known she was in there. They were still laughing as they entered the turbolift.

"Deck two," Kathryn called out between heavy breaths.

As the doors opened on her floor, Tom made to follow Kathryn to her rooms but was stopped by a firm hand on his chest.

"Discretion Tom," she said softly.

"When?" He whispered back.

She gave him a small smile as she stepped out of the lift, "I expect see you in holodeck one tomorrow after shift Mr. Paris." Then she leaned forward to whisper, "And we will get some work done."

Tom watched her walk away down the corridor until the doors slid shut and the lift whisked him away into the bowels of the ship.


	12. Chapter 12

**I wonder where I am going with this story. I have no idea. Please enjoy!**

They fell into some sort of routine. Two hours in the holodeck after shift. The first hour was spent working on shuttle designs and simulations. Both were amazed at the amount of work they did manage to get done. They worked well together, bouncing ideas off one another, getting excited over something, and fiddling with components until they had no choice but work the way they wanted them too.

That isn't to say that Tom never let his urges get the best of him and pin Kathryn against the hull of their half built simulation and ravish her. Or that Kathryn had never physically dragged Tom out from beneath the ship, tore off his clothes and rode him. Hard.

But usually they could hold off until the second hour of their holodeck sessions. This hour they reserved for letting their inner cats out, so to speak. Closing and saving their work, they'd call up a program full of open meadows, dense forests, and clear blue skies. A virtual playground for two giant felines.

After their holodeck time, the two would part ways; Tom to the mess for food and his friends, and Kathryn to her quarters or ready room to work. Then sometime in the middle of the night Tom would slip into her room and curl up next to his mate. Unfortunately this didn't happen as often as Tom would like, but he realized they had to be very discreet. Otherwise they were going to get caught.

Tom was on the bridge thinking about this one morning after spending a restless night alone in his quarters. He was coming to recognize the more time he spent apart from his mate, the more irritable he became. It was alright working on the bridge where he could feel her comforting presence behind him, but going without seeing his mate for hours at a time was beginning to drive him crazy.

What he wanted was to be able to show his affection – and possessiveness-- anytime he felt like it. He wanted to go to bed with her in his arms and wake up to find her sprawled on top of him. Hell, he just wanted. And it wasn't just the sex- not to say the sex wasn't mind blowing, because it was and more- Tom just wanted to spend more time with her, to see the person behind the Captain.

Harry's voice broke through Tom's musings. "There's something on the sensors."

Immediately the Captain was out of her seat to peer over the ensign's shoulder. Tom hadn't realized that she was that restless, but then, he could relate.

"What is it?"

"I'm getting readings of a ship of some sort."

"Can you hail them?"

"They're still out of range."

"What are they doing out here?" Tom piped up, curious, "There isn't anything around here that isn't two days away at warp eight."

Janeway looked up from Harry's station to meet Tom's eyes. It that moment it was if they could read each other minds, both wondering if this was some sort of trap and if there was any sign of danger, Tom knew he would put her life before his own.

Kathryn blinked and the moment was over. "Mr. Paris proceed with caution," she ordered, marching back to her chair, "Mr. Kim keep trying to hail them."

XOXOXOX

It took over two hours to reach the ship. Even after coming within hailing distance, they continued to receive only static from the ship.

Tuvok had the shields at full and the weapons primed in case of a surprise attack but the mystery ship just seemed to hang there.

"Scanning for life signs," Kim announced. A moment later he frowned, then ran the scans again. "There are no life signs on that ship. It doesn't make any sense. I can't find anything wrong with the ship itself."

"On screen," Janeway barked. The mystery ship replaced the blackness of the view screen.

"There appear to be no signs of a battle," Tuvok remarked calmly. Indeed the ship looked to be good in condition, the engines still running enough to hold its position in this quiet corner of space.

"I want a meeting of the senior officers in five minutes," Janeway ordered tersely. Something about this ship made her uneasy and she knew Tom felt it too by the way he fidgeted at his station.

Five minutes later she was the last one to stalk into the conference room. She moved to the head of the table, but didn't sit down. She was to…twitchy for that. Rather she planted her hands on the table and forced herself calm down before she started growing fangs and claws in front of the entire senior staff.

"What do we know?" she demanded. As Harry Kim began his report on the scans he had ran, Kathryn made the mistake of meeting Tom's eyes. The cat inside her roared to life, seeing the answering call in her mate's eyes. They could both feel the _wrongness_ rolling off the ship in waves and their instincts were demanding fight or flight.

Neither were the type to run away in the face of danger so Janeway made the decision that she was going to lead the away team that would investigate the ship. And Tom would be coming with her; there was no way he would allow himself to be left behind while his mate walked willingly into what could be her death.

"Thank you Ensign," she nodded to Kim as he finished. "I think this warrants investigating. I will lead a small team to do so. Mr. Paris, you and two security personal will accompany me."

"Yes Ma'am," Paris said cheerfully, glad she knew he was going to go no matter what.

"Chakotay, I need you here in command in case this is some elaborate trap or something," Kathryn said, quelling the commander's protests before he could voice them. "Tuvok, keep the shields up and weapons at the ready. Be'lanna, I need you in the transport room in case we need an emergency beam out." She met each of her officers in the eye, "Very well, we will beam out in 20 minutes. Dismissed."

The officers filed out the room, Tom trailing the group, trying to get a moment alone with Kathryn. Chakotay was trying to the same and the two males eyed each other, both recognized what the other was trying to do.

"After you commander," Tom gestured grandly at the door. Chakotay glanced back at Janeway who hadn't moved from her position at the head of the table, nails drumming on its metal surface, eyes focused on something distant. Seeing that she wasn't going to talk to him, the big Indian reluctantly returned to his seat on the bridge.

Tom as well hesitated in the doorway before moving towards the Captain. "Kathryn," he said softly, placing his hand over her tapping fingers.

"Oh," she turned to look at him, startled out of her reverie. She opened her mouth to say more when the door slid open.

Tom hastily pulled his hand away from hers and Kathryn straightened up quickly as Chakotay reentered the room. Both hoped the first officer missed the intimate position they had been in.

"Captain I would like to talk to you. Alone," he said with a pointed look at Tom.

"Not now Chakotay," Janeway snapped, suddenly impatient with the commander and his constant attention, "Tom and I have to be down in the transport room."

Chakotay raised an eyebrow at the use of the pilot's first name while on duty and Kathryn cursed in her head at the slip up. She tried to walk past him, but he grabbed her forearm.

"I really don't think this is a good idea. You don't need to go on this mission. I can go."

Kathryn sent a glare at him, trying to force down her sudden anger. She had felt Tom tense up the moment Chakotay touched her and if she gave the smallest signal of her discomfort, her first officer would soon become the scratching post for a 200 plus pound feline.

"Do I need to remind you who the Captain on this ship is?" she asked coldly, pulling her arm out of his grasp, "If I want to go on this mission then I will and you will go back to the bridge and like it." Then she spun on a heel and stalked out of the room.

Chakotay stared after her, a little shocked at her behavior. Tom shrugged at him as if to say he had no idea for her harsh words and quickly scurried after her least he incur her wrath.

A short while later Tom stood behind his Captain on the transporter platform, already sweating in his hermetically sealed hazmat suit. Janeway gave a curt nod to Be'lanna and the four figures disappeared only to rematerialize on the strange ghost ship.


	13. Chapter 13

**So I'm back at University and the work load is going to piling up, so chapters will most likely become few and far between. But I will try! Please enjoy the latest addition.**

Everyone noticed it and everyone was talking about it. The Captain and her First Officer were not talking.

Oh sure they talked on the bridge, when their duties demanded it, but in their off time where it was once common to see the ranking officers laughing during working lunches or spending time in the Captain's readyroom, now cut down to curt reports and formal words.

On a ship as small as the Voyager, gossip about their commanding officers was as good as it got for the lower decks. Even the other senior officers were not above making their own speculations. At the moment, Be'lanna and Harry Kim were pestering Tom about what caused the tension between Janeway and Chakotay.

"Oh come on Paris," Be'lanna was saying, "Everyone knows you saw what happened. We are just lucky enough to be your friends, so you can tell us."

"Yeah," Kim chimed in, "we promise to keep it to ourselves, honest."

"Yeah, just like you kept that incident in cargo bay two to yourself. Those ensigns still can't look me in the eye without laughing."

Harry looked slightly chastened, but Be'lanna continued on with her bugging. "Why won't you tell us Paris!" she growled, exasperated. "You used to have all the best gossip on this ship. I know it was you that started the gossip about Janeway and Chakotay in the first place, right after they got back from New Earth. Now why are you suddenly so tight lipped?"

"It's none of my business," Tom mumbled, "I shouldn't have started those rumors."

"But Tom, if you didn't, someone else would have. Everyone saw how they looked at each other after getting stranded on that planet." Harry could see his friend was uncomfortable and tried to help him out.

"I think it was more how Chakotay stared at the Captain," Be'lanna snorted, "He was kind of obvious. Still is, I think."

Tom felt the surge of jealousy at the half Klingon's words and gripped the table until his knuckles turned white to prevent himself from going after the first officer with teeth bared.

"Do you think that is why they aren't talking to one another?" Harry asked, "Maybe they have been sleeping together all this time, and now they're having a lover's spat."

"No," Be'lanna dismissed the idea with a wave of her hand, "Janeway is too professional for that. I think it has something to do with the ghost ship." She turned to Tom, "What was on that ship that made Chakotay so upset?"

"Nothing. There was absolutely nothing on that ship."

"Huh," she stared at him for a moment, not really believing him, but that was what the report said and the ship was light years behind them now, so what could she really do? "I still don't get why you won't tell what happened in the briefing room."

"I won't betray the Captain's confidence."

She snorted again, "That's a first."

Immediately Tom was on his feet, his chair clattering behind him. Now he griped the table to keep himself from launching at Be'lanna. "Shut up now," he growled in a low voice.

As a Klingon, Be'lanna recognized the challenge and stood up as well, ready to fight. "I don't know what your problem is, but you are acting strange too. You've been acting strange for months now. What the hell is your problem?!" she didn't bother to keep her voice down. The people in the mess, who had already been turning their attention to their table, had now gone completely silent, watching the fight unfold before their eyes.

"Um, guys…" Harry Kim was getting nervous. He knew that there was little he could do to stop his friends. Be'lanna was brute strength, but Tom was a sneaky, dirty fighter. He had learned how to fight in prison and though he didn't like to use his ill-begotten skills, he would. Kim knew it would very messy if the two got their hands on one another.

Torres let out a full Klingon growl as she shoved the table out of her way and advanced on Paris. The crowd was growing in loose circle around the pair and taking sides, calling out encouragement and catcalls to both.

Tom planted his feet, slightly crouched in a fighter's stance and held his hands before him in loose fists. Be'lanna launched herself at him, but Tom merely ducked under her reaching grasp and stepped to his left and spun swiftly to face her as she picked herself off the ground.

She was about to throw herself at him again when a cold, commanding voice cut the noise and froze everyone in their place.

"What the HELL is going on here?!" Janeway stood in the doorway with her hands on her hips, flanked by both Commanders Chakotay and Tuvok. She marched through the crowd that silently parted for her. "Lieutenants? Care to explain?" she asked stopping in front of Torres and Paris who were standing limply in front of the overturned table and chairs, the fight gone out of them at the sight of their commanding officer.

Well that wasn't exactly true. Tom's blood was still pounding through his veins, but this time it was the urge to jump his mate and mark her as his own, in front of all these people, so that everyone would know that _she was his._ This was stronger than any urge he had had previously, and he twitched violently before catching himself.

However Kathryn caught his movement and stared at him with dark, angry eyes, daring him to try something. Tom figured it was the adrenalin and hormones rushing through him in heady waves that were causing such a reaction.

When no one said anything, she gave her orders, "Ms. Torres, Mr. Paris report to my ready room immediately." She then turned and marched away still furious at her officers for their misconduct. Then she stopped and turned around to look again at the shamefaced officers. "You too, Mr. Kim. I have a feeling you witnessed everything."

At her words, Harry turned as white as sheet and audibly gulped before answering, "Yes Ma'am."

XOXOXOX

"By all rights I should be throwing the both of you in the brig to cool your hot heads for awhile." Janeway was holding herself stiffly behind her desk, her voice tight with icy anger. "Unfortunately I don't have that luxury out here in the delta quadrant; your skills are in to high demand to take you off shift for any deserving amount of brig time. So instead I am suspending all of your holodeck activities and replicator rations for two months for behavior unbecoming of Starfleet officers. You will report to shift on time for the next two months and when you get off shift, I expect to see you nowhere but your quarters or the mess hall. Am I understood?"

Two heads, one sandy blond, the other dark black nodded furiously, both ashamed of their actions.

"Very well. Dismissed."

And as the two fled the ready room, it wasn't the biting anger that struck them, but the tired disappointment they could hear in their Captain's voice.

XOXOXOX

After such a dressing down, Paris should have known better then to show up at the Captain's door that night. But he was still riled up after the almost fight and seeing his mate seething in anger only increased his desire for her.

Using his medical override, he slipping almost silently into her darkened quarters, all his senses on alert for her presence.

"Get out."

Tom spun about quickly, trying to discern her figure hidden in the shadowy room.

"I said get out."

"No," he replied, still unable to locate her. She seemed to be moving, prowling around him to keep him from pinpointing her location and cornering her.

"I knew this wasn't going to work," she spat.

"Kathryn calm down, I can here to apologize."

"No. No you didn't. I know why you can here, and it isn't to apologize. You came here to fuck me."

Tom had to admit, her words affected him on a basic biological level and he struggled to control his reaction. She was in part right.

"Don't try and deny it," she continued on, "I could tell, from the moment you looked at me in the mess hall."

"You want me too. I can smell your arousal."

Kathryn sucked in a breath at his words as she pressed herself harder into the wall. Just as he couldn't deny her words, she couldn't deny his. None the less, her anger as the Captain still overrode her lust for her mate.

"I can't do this anymore, Tom. I am your Captain, this is inappropriate. I should have never let you get this close."

Her words hit him were it hurt. Tom stood in a pool of starlight in the center of her room, shocked and hurt. "I…I…" He couldn't speak, all his emotions were swirling around in chest, making it ache.

"Just leave," she begged not leaving her shadowy alcove. Her instincts were warring with her sense of duty and the anguish could clearly be heard in her voice.

"I can't," he admitted in a broken whisper, "Kathryn, I love you."


	14. Chapter 14

**Enjoy**

Kathryn didn't know what to say, her heart was pounding and so was her head. Splitting pain flashed just behind her eyes and she cried out as she fell to her knees.

"Kathryn? Kathryn!"

"Captain!"

She thought it was Tom who was calling her name, but she couldn't concentrate past the pain. She thought she heard Chakotay's and the Doctor's voices mix in with Paris's and colors were swirling around in front of her eyes even though they were shut tight.

She felt herself being lifted up off the ground and cried out again as the movement spread the pain throughout the rest of her body. She screamed until her voice was gone and the pain overwhelmed her causing her to slip into darkness.

XOXOXOX

"Get them on the biobeds. Gently!" the EMH ordered sharply. As the security officers backed away, the Doctor moved in, his scanner held at the ready.

"What can you tell me?" he demanded of the officers.

The older of the two shrugged, "They materialized on the transport pad, unconscious and seizing. Lieutenant Torres ordered us to carry them down here because she was trying to get Jack and Se'lisha back."

"Why did she emergency transport them off the ship? They didn't ask for a beam out."

He shrugged again, "We got a garbled message from Captain Janeway. We couldn't hear any words, but clearly heard shots fired. Commander Tuvok ordered the emergency beam out."

Seconds later the bodies of the security guards who had accompanied the Captain and pilot onto the ghost ship appeared in the blue glow of transport beam onto the empty biobeds.

"Are they ok?" the younger security officer demanded, worried about his friends and colleagues.

The Doctor ran his tricorder over the still figures. "I'm not reading any lifesigns," he reported. Before he could say anything else, Chakotay burst through the sickbay doors, a worried frown etched onto his face.

"What's wrong with her?" he demanded.

"I might be able to figure that out if I wasn't being continuously interrupted," the Doctor replied with a glare at all the people crowding the sickbay. The two security officers took the hint and left quickly, in mourning for their friends.

The Commander, however, wasn't appeased. He opened his mouth to make more demands, but the Doctor cut him off.

"Commander, I am going to ask you to leave. I cannot heal them if you are constantly lurking over my shoulder. Once I have the Captain and Lieutenant stabilized I will give you a full report."

"I can help. Surely you could use an extra pair of hands."

The EMH snorted as he leaned over his charges, "Your medical expertise is seriously lacking. You would be only be in my way. Like you are now." He glared at Chakotay until he stepped aside to let the Doctor get closer to Janeway.

"Very well Doctor." Chakotay's lips were pressed into a hard thin line as he moved towards the doors. "I want a report ASAP."

The Doctor mumbled to himself as he set to work, occasionally glancing at his tricorder to keep him on track.

XOXOXOX

Several hours later the Doctor stepped back with a sigh that was more for effect than anything else. He had finally stabilized both Janeway and Paris, but he couldn't break them out some sort of hallucinogenic unconsciousness they were under. They were no longer shaking violently and silently screaming, but once in a awhile one of them would twitch or moan.

He was still no closer to figuring out what exactly happened to them on that eerily empty ship. He checked on them one last time, making sure they were both sleeping peacefully before fixing his emitter onto his arm and lowering sickbay lights and leaving to report to the Commander on the bridge.

XOXOXOX

Kathryn was swimming through murky darkness, clawing her way painfully back to consciousness. She was glad the blinding pain was gone, but it left her feeling as weak as a week old kitten. And her body ached as though she had gone three rounds against a full blooded Klingon and lost.

She could sense Tom was nearby but not close enough. His scent hovered on the edge of her senses and she wanted more. In the back of her mind she knew she was lying on a biobed and Tom was on the one next to her, but semantics didn't matter, she just wanted to be closer. She instinctively knew that she would feel better if she was.

Without opening her eyes, she pulled herself off her bed and staggered two steps to Tom's side. She climbed up next to him and buried her face in his chest. Tom groaned and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her tight to him.

Kathryn felt a rumbling purr begin deep in his chest and relaxed against him fully, allowing a purr of her own to start as she slipped off into a deep healing sleep. There would be time later to remember what happened on the ghost ship and wonder at the strangely realistic hallucination.

XOXOXOX

The doctor pulled up short in the sickbay doorway causing Chakotay to walk right through him. His image fizzled out until the holosensors of sickbay kicked in.

"Commander!" the Doctor said quickly, knowing if the big Indian saw the position the Captain and the pilot were in heads would roll. "I don't think you should be in here yet. It was a very complicated medical process and they still need a lot of time to recover."

"But I thought you said there wasn't much you could do, that they were in some sort of coma." Chakotay turned around to look at the Doctor, puzzled.

"Yes. I put them in the coma," the EMH used his haughty, superior voice in order not to arouse Chakotay's suspicion. "They needed it to help heal from the mental wounds. If you could please leave now and I will inform you when I bring them out of the coma. They may need extensive consoling and you or Commander Tuvok would be the best for that."

"Yes," Chakotay murmured, pride a little inflated by the Doctor's words, "I will leave you to your work. Let me know if anything changes." Thankfully he left, not turning around as he was apt to do and check on Janeway.

Once the Commander was well and gone, the Doctor marched over to bed where Kathryn was curled in Tom's arms and glared at the pair. The he frowned when he picked up the low thrumming sound, something the human ear would have never picked up, but the Doctor was a far cry from flesh and blood.

Curious, he scanned them and saw nothing out of the norm. They were simply in a healing sleep. Still the noise continued. Scanning them again, he decided they were stable enough to be awoken.

Kathryn didn't hear the hiss of the hypospray but she felt the effects as the pick-me-up course through her veins and bringing her back to consciousness. She fought it, groaning and hiding her face from the stark lights of sickbay by nuzzling into Tom's chest.

"Captain?"

The Doctor's voice broke through her groggy thoughts and suddenly she realized where she was exactly. Startled, she shot up and off the biobed, frantic to regain some sense of propriety.

"Doctor," she said, her Captain's voice at odds with the green sickbay gown and long, mussed hair tossed over her shoulder.

Before either could say another word, Tom murmured in his sleep, "Kathryn." Kathryn and the Doctor stared at him, but he didn't wake up. Then the EMH looked up at his Captain.

"You're sleeping together!" he accused.

**And you thought I forgot about the ghost ship. Nope. Anyways, more good stuff to come so stay tuned!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Fragments of this have been lurking about on my desktop for awhile so I finally got around to connecting the dots. Things are starting to come together (or should I say fall apart?) and I created a new enemy so this story is no doubt going to linger on for a few more chapters. Please enjoy.**

On a seemingly dead ship, now a good fifty light years or so away from the lost Federation ship, voices stirred the silence.

"Why could we not steal the lifeforce of the two cat-humans? They would be very nourishing to us."

"I don't understand it myself. Somehow they resisted us."

"Instead of relaxing and allowing us to suck out their memories, they created a fantasy. I saw it for myself when I tried to drain the redhead. Very strange."

"We cannot feed on fantasies," an older sounding voice entered the group and they all feel quiet in deference. "We should have had their whole ship! The shields on their minds weakened us, prevented us from gaining access to their ship. They must be found and killed, should they tell others about us, we will lose our food sources."

There was a murmur of excited voices and the once quiet ship rumbled to life and began following the ion trail of the Federation ship, gaining speed as it went.

XOXOXOX

"You were lucky I got the Commander out of here before he could see you in such a…position. He would have thrown a fit." After the Doctor's outburst, he continued to berate the Captain for putting him in such an awkward position.

She let him have his say, but a few minutes into his ranting, Kathryn could feel a headache beginning to form. "Enough," she ordered, holding up a hand to cut off his rambling. "What I do and how I see in my free time is no one's business but my own. I'd thank you to keep that in mind Doctor."

"Yes of course Captain," the EMH said, slightly mollified, "but Paris? Really?"

Kathryn rounded on him, mad that he would suggest that Tom wasn't a good mate for her. "Yes, Paris," she hissed, "He is caring and gentle and he makes me laugh. He lets me forget for a short while that I got us stuck out here and am fighting tooth and nail to get us home before this blasted quadrant kills us all!" As she spoke, her voice grew in volume until she was near shouting.

The Doctor opened his mouth to speak, but she cut him off, "You will speak of this to no one or so help me God, I will erase your entire social memory base and you will go back to a mindless hologram again."

He snapped his mouth shut knowing the Captain was one of the few on Voyager who could make good on her threat. "Oh course Captain," he said, "I apologize for assuming otherwise. Though earlier I noticed something strange I want to ask you about."

She rubbed her head wearily and when she looked up again, she noticed Tom sitting up looking at her curiously. "Can it wait Doctor, our time on the ship was very trying and I still need to write up my reports and death reports for the two security officers."

The EMH saw a flash of pain cross her face and decided to confront her on the strange humming some other time. "No, it can wait. However I suggest you spend some more time here in sickbay recovering. The hallucination you and Mr. Paris were under was very powerful and I am unsure of lingering effects."

"I promise to go straight to bed after writing my reports Doctor."

When the Doctor finally deactivated, the two of them were left staring at one another, both at a loss for words. Tom gave her a sheepish grin and scratched the back of his neck in an awkward fashion. "I make you laugh, huh?"

Kathryn gave a short laugh that sounded more like a sob. Tom opened his arms and she fell into them, sobbing.

"Oh Kat," he whispered, burying his face into her sweet smelling hair. "I meant it."

XOXOXOX

She had been in her ready room for a solid five hours past shift change, yet she was still reluctant to leave the privacy of the room. She ignored the little voice in the back on her mind that told her she was hiding. Starfleet Captains don't hide. She was just contemplating braving the mess for an extremely late lunch, knowing at this time there wouldn't be a lot of people around and certainly the Doctor and Tom – the two people she wanted most to avoid- wouldn't be around, when her door chimed.

"Come"

"Captain, may I have a moment of your time?" Tuvok inquired.

"Please," Kathryn replied, motioning with a hand that they should move to the couch and sit more comfortably. Once they were settled Kathryn asked her old friend curiously, "What is it Tuvok?"

"I wish to speak to you on your affair with Lieutenant Paris."

She froze, her coffee cup halfway to her lips and stared at Tuvok's impassive face. "How did you-" she began but cut herself off with a blush when she realized that she had just confirmed his assumption. She took a long sip of her coffee, savoring the bitter flavor, and carefully thought about what to say next. She couldn't think of anything. Over and over she replayed the scene from yesterday in sickbay in her mind. She set her mug down and stood up to pace her readyroom as though the movement would calm her wild thoughts.

Tuvok sat calmly on her couch and watched her move about, knowing she would speak when she was ready.

"We shared a hallucination," she began.

Tuvok nodded, "I read the report."

"In the hallucination he told me he loved me. And later in sickbay he told me he meant it."

"This upsets you," Tuvok stated.

"Yes. No. I don't know! I can't have a crew member fall in love with me! There are valid reasons why fraternization is against Starfleet policy."

"You love him back."

"What?" Kathryn stopped pacing to look at the Vulcan in shock.

"If you did not love him then you would have broken off your affair long before it turned into anything meaningful. And you would not be so distraught over it right now."

"I…I can't…I mean…not right..." she stuttered.

"He makes you happy. It is going to be a long journey, it is wise to find companionship. A Captain reflects his or her moods on the crew. If you are happy, then logically the ship will run with better efficiency. I think it would be wise to tell Mr. Paris of your feelings."

"Thank you Tuovk," Kathryn mumbled as she dropped numbly into the chair behind her desk. "You have given me a lot to think about."

Tuvok gave her a grave nod and returned to his station on the bridge.

XOXOXOX

Kathryn was in her bath when Chakotay came storming through her door. She had been so lost in her thoughts that she had completely missed the impatient chiming at her front door. Chakotay let himself in using his security override and proceeded to march into her bathroom.

"I want the truth, Kathryn Janeway. No more sneaking around or avoiding!"

She looked up to see the steaming mad Indian filling out her bathroom door and screamed. "Chakotay! What the hell? Get out!" Most of the bubbles had dissipated and her lean naked body was clearly visible.

"No," he took a menacing step closer, his face red with anger, "I just heard from Harry Kim of all people, that you are sleeping with Tom Paris!"

Kathryn looked her first officer defiantly in the eye, her pride preventing her from covering herself best she could, "So what if I am?"

His arm swung out, to grab her or hit her, Kathryn didn't know, but her next words stopped him cold. "Do I need to call security Commander? Or are you going to go wait in my front cabin while I finish up in here and then we can talk about this like adults."

Chakotay dropped his arm to his side and stepped away from the edge of the tub. "Yes Captain. I forgot myself for a moment," he said sullenly. And he turned on his heel and stalked away, body still tight with anger.

Kathryn sighed once she was alone again and pulled herself from the now cold water. She absently rubbed herself dry and she thought about what the hell she was going to say to Chakotay. She also wanted to know how Ensign Kim found out, but she had a sneaking suspicion that Tom could no longer hold back from telling his best friend. After checking that her hair was perfect and zipping up her uniform jacket, she stepped into her front room with the air of a warrior preparing for battle.


	16. Chapter 16

**I toyed with ways on how the crew was going to find out about Tom and Kathryn's secrets, but I like the way this came out. As always, reviews are love. Please enjoy!**

"I should throw you in the brig for what you just did," Janeway stormed into her front room, immediately on the defensive. "Not only was it an invasion of personal space, you disobeyed my direct order to leave my bathroom. Commander what do you have to say for yourself?" she planted herself in front of him, hands on hips, challenging glare in her eyes.

Hurt that she would treat him like this, Chakotay stiffened in defense. "I am sorry Captain. I don't know what came over me. Please forgive me for my poor conduct," he said coldly and moved to leave.

Seeing that she had hurt him, Kathryn's features softened in regret. Grabbing him by the arm to stop him from leaving she said, "Chakotay don't be like that. You're my friend."

"Sure doesn't seem like it," he muttered under his breath.

Kathryn frowned, but wisely didn't say anything about it. Instead she said, "Sit down Chakotay, and let me explain."

Knowing that she was genuinely remorse, Chakotay let go of some of his anger. "You are my best friend Kathryn yet I feel like I'm the last person on this ship to know about your relationship with Paris!" he cried as he threw himself down on her couch. "Friends talk to one another. When was the last time we talked?"

"I talk to you every day," Kathryn pointed out, confused.

"No, that's not what I meant. I mean really talk. Not ship's business. When was the last time we shared something personal?"

Kathryn thought back, "Chakotay that was New Earth. That was when thought we were the only two humans on that forsaken planet. I admit, I developed a fondness for you; something I had hoped would be transmitted into our friendship back on Voyager. But I could never have a more personal relationship with you then that."

"But you can have one with Paris?"

"Tom is different…" she began.

"You are in love with him!" Chakotay cut her off. "You are in love with Tom- the ladies man- Paris!"

Kathryn stared at him, open mouthed, a bit surprised at the resentment in her first officer's voice.

"Kathryn how could you? I thought maybe when we made it back home me and you could…" he trailed off, shaking his head.

"Oh Chakotay," she said, sorrowful at inadvertently dashing his hopes. "I could never do that to you, or myself." She reached out to lay a comforting hand on his arm.

Before she could touch him, Chakotay jerked away. He gathered his hurt and shattered emotions and hid them behind his mask of Starfleet protocol. "Forgive me for the intrusion on your privacy Captain. If you wish to call security to escort me to the brig, I will not resist."

"Don't be ridiculous Chakotay. I'm not going to sentence you to the brig. Only next time don't resort to such drastic measures to get my attention, just come talk to me."

"I don't think that will be necessary," he said stiffly, rising to his feet. "I think you said all the needs to be said." He moved to leave again and again Kathryn grabbed his arm and pulled him back.

"Don't shut me out," she pleaded, looking up at him with wide eyes.

Chakotay stared down at her and felt his mask fall. She was shocked at the longing and devotion she saw swimming in his eyes. Before she could fully process what he was doing, he had one hand on the small of her back and the other slid up to tangle in her hair and he was kissing her.

Tom was at his desk in his quarters when he felt it on a base, instinctual level. . immedatily he shot up from his chair and out the door. Crewmen pressed themselves against the walls, gaping at him as he sped past. He didn't register any of it, concentrating solely on getting to his mate's side. As he burst into the Captains quarters, he was enraged at the sight of the first officer kissing _his _mate. Without a thought to later ramifications, he charged.

'I don't feel anything,' Kathryn thought as Chakotay's lips moved over hers. As she moved to push him away, a blur flew into Chakotay, knocking him away from her.

"Tom!" she gasped, smelling his unique scent before she actually saw him.

Tom had knocked into Chakotay with enough force to carry them both into the far wall. Tom felt urge to change swelling beneath his skin. He tried to fight it, but the image of Chakotay kissing Janeway kept swimming before his eyes.

Kathryn saw Tom's skin begin to ripple and she lunged forward as if she could stop him. Too late. She watched, aghast, as Tom lost control and changed into a powerful predator.

Chakotay braced himself against the wall, stunned and blinked as a giant feline doubled and triples beyond his spinning vision. "What the hell?!" he gasped out, "Where did that mountain lion come from?"

By now Kathryn had grabbed Tom by the scruff of the neck and pulled him back. Tom was still running on a adrenaline and hormonal cocktail and couldn't change back no matter how hard he tried. So instead he curled himself around Kathryn's legs, rubbing against them like an overgrown kitten and glared at Chakotay who was still rubbing his forehead in a dazed manner.

When the Commander realized that the massive cat wasn't because of the blow to his head, but was real and was a real threat, he quickly lifted his hand to his commbadge to hail security. "Kathryn get away from that thing!" he shouted.

"Chakotay, no!" she reached out and put her hand on top of his to stop him. Tom let out a low growl at the contact and Kathryn snatched her hand back as though she had been burned.

"Ckakotay please. Let me explain. Tom is no threat."

"Tom? That beast is Tom Paris?"

"Commander calm down and sit down," Kathryn ordered in her best Captain's voice. Chakotay sat, still eyeing Tom warily. "Tom go into the bedroom," she ordered her mate.

Tom shook his head and sat down on his haunches firmly, giving her a look that clearly said 'I am not leaving you alone with that man.'

Kathryn glared at him, "You know it's going to take longer to change back."

Tom shrugged; a movement that looked very odd on a cat his size.

"You knew about this?!" Chakotay was incredulous.

Kathryn looked up at him and sighed. "I need coffee," she decided, moving over to her replicator. "Here," she said handing him a cup of his favorite tea, "You'll probably going to want this." She sat down in a chair facing him on the couch and wrapped her hands around her steaming mug as Tom sat next to her and stared unblinking at Chakotay with his big cat eyes.

"To answer your question, yes I knew about this. I can do it too," she admitted quietly.

Chakotay stared at her, jaw dropping open. He went to say something, but Kathryn held up a hand to stave off his questions. "Please, let me tell you the whole story before you jump to any conclusions."

"It all began on that moon Paris and I crash landed on. You know we were subjected to a native ritual after our capture. Well we left out some details…" She recounted their adventures, skimming over the parts when she and Tom grew more intimate, she knew it would only be awkward for them all.

In conclusion she said, "We have been testing our new…abilities and have to initiate the change ourselves otherwise a buildup of repressed emotions will cause the change without our control. I believe that this change caused basic biologically changes within us as well. Tom and I are connected in a way. I can't really describe it…" she trailed off, unsure of what else to say.

"I see," Chakotay said slowly, "This is a lot to take in."

"Try living it."

"The Doctor never detected anything?"

"That was strange, but no he never found a thing."

"I don't know what to say," her first officer admitted.

"Chakotay, it has been a long emotionally challenging day for all of us. Why don't you get a cool press for your head and go to bed and tomorrow we will talk about this more."

"Yes," he said getting up to leave, placing his cold, untouched tea on her coffee table, "Yes I think that is a good idea."

"Good night Commander," Tom called, glad to see the back of him as he staggered to the door.

Kathryn frowned down at her mate. Tom had changed back sometime during her story and was still sitting on the floor next to her, a pillow flipped onto his lap to protect his modesty. "That was pretty bad. I blame you," she said as she stood and marched into her bedroom, pulling off her uniform as she went.

"Why is it always my fault?" Tom asked, following her, still naked.

"Was it really necessary to charge the man?"

"He was kissing you," Tom defended himself, "Only I'm allowed to do that."

"Oh really," Kathryn deadpanned.

"Really," he confirmed, stepping up behind her and running his hand up and down her sides as she unclipped her hair.

"Stay tonight," she said, turning in arms to cuddle up against him. "Just to sleep."

Tom was surprised at both her request and how she sounded like she was on the verge of tears. "Don't cry baby. Of course I'll stay the night. I'll do whatever you ask. Follow you to the ends of the universe, even if Q already took us there once."

Kathryn hiccupped a laugh against his shoulder and buried her nose into the crook of his neck, taking comfort from his calming scent. Tom picked up her small body easily and carried her to the bed. Kathryn gave a small sigh as he laid her on the bed and her human form shimmered away to be replaced by her cat one. Tom grinned at her choice and stretched in his alternate form as well before curling up around his mate and flowing her into sleep.


	17. Chapter 17

**I couldn't focus on my latin translations until I finished this chapter. It only took for cups of coffee with chocolate milk (since I ran out of normal milk). I keep righting these chapters with the intention of ending the story, but this one doesn't want to die. oh well, enjoy! **

Kathryn awoke to hands tracing nameless patterns on the bare expanse of her back.

"What are you doing up so early?" she asked groggily, not yet wanting to open her eyes or pull away from the warmth of her bed.

"I was thinking…" Tom began.

"I didn't know you could do that," she quipped.

Tom smacked her lightly on the ass in retaliation for her teasing even as he laughed, "Its been known to happen on occasion."

"Ok then," she rolled on her back and grinned up at him, "What were you thinking about?"

But now Tom was distracted by the sight of his mate. Her hair spread out in a wild tangle across the pillows and her eyes sparkled with an inner happiness. She was bare down to her waist where the bed sheet fell across her hips and tangled in her legs. She looked utterly ravishable.

Kathryn saw his eyes darken and shivered with her own arousal as his lips brushed over hers teasingly.

"You're beautiful," he whispered in her ear before capturing her lobe in his mouth and sucking on it gently, causing her to squirm in his arms as heat rushed through her body.

Kathryn didn't know where she found the willpower to resist his seduction but somehow she managed to push him away and sit up to face him.

"No," she panted as Tom frowned and reached for her again. "No more until you tell me what is bothering you."

Paris withdrew his reaching hands and put them in his lap, looking down at them suddenly afraid to look her in the eye. Kathryn cocked her head and watched him draw up enough courage to tell her what's on her mind.

"I think we should come clean to the crew," he blurted and looked up at her. "About everything," he stressed.

Kathryn sucked in a breath, whatever she had expected him to say, this was not it. "No," she said, looking about the room wildly suddenly feeling trapped. She climbed off the bed and began prowling around the room, anxiety building. "You know we can't do that. I can't have the crew thinking I'm compromising my command!"

"Kathryn," Tom said gently, grabbing her by the arm as she stalked past and pulled her to stand between his legs. Entwining his fingers with hers, he looked up at her and said, "The crew will still respect you – they love you. You have been nothing but selfless this entire journey and they know you will stop at nothing to get us all home. They will surely understand your need for human contact, they won't begrudge you your human needs."

"But that's just it Tom!" she cried, pulling away from him and resuming her pacing, "We're not human anymore. We are bonded in a way beyond human comprehension. I am in a compromising position because if I had to choose between you and this ship, I think I will choose you." Her voice dropped to an exhausted whisper as she finally admitted her deepest fears."

"No," Tom said firmly, standing up and gathering her in his arm, "You would put the crew first. You are dedicated to them all and to this ship and I know you will not let them down. It's part of who you are, part of who I love."

Kathryn still looked doubtful. "Look, I might have been taking things to hastily. Maybe we need to get off the ship for awhile," Tom suggested cautiously, "Our other halfs need lots of open space and fresh air. Living in a starship doesn't get us much of either. Some shore leave will help put our priorities in perspective."

Kathryn moved out of his arms and went to stand in front of the window to stare at the stars moving by, thinking on Paris's words. Shore leave appealed greatly to her and she was annoyed to realize how much her cat side influenced her feelings.

Tom sat still on the bed and watched her watch the stars. He wondered if she realized she was still naked, but didn't want to say anything and ruin the view. He hope she agreed to his shore leave idea. He longed to run free planet side again, reveling in the sounds and smells that washed over him. The holodeck could never beat the real thing.

Finally she turned backt o him , "I'll talk to Neelix, see if we need to take on more food supplies and no doubt everyone could benefit from some shore leave."

A wide grin broke across Tom's face and he left from the bed to engulf her in a hug. "Thank you," he said as he bent his head to capture her lips in a deep kiss.

Kathryn laughed at his exuberance and kissed him back until her alarm went off a few minutes later and she had to force herself away from him to get ready for her shift on the bridge.

Tom was reluctant to leave as he watched his mate saunter into the bathroom. "Get out of here," she called at him, not turning around, "You have bridge duty too."

"Yes Ma'am," he said, laughter hiding in his voice as he pulled on his clothing that was scattered about the room. Janeway's throaty chuckle followed him out the door.

XOXOXOX

As it turned out, the Captain never had to call Neelix to her ready room. Rather he was waiting to ambush her as she stepped off the turbolift onto the bridge.

"Good morning Captain!" he said cheerily, "Might I have a moment of your time? I have important information regarding our food supplies."

Kathryn looked around the bridge, hands on hips. She was pleased to see Tom already at the helm. Tom, as though he could feel her eyes upon him, turned about and gave her a grin. Chakotay was seated stiffly in his chair and Kathryn could imagine him glowering at Tom.

"Of course Neelix," she said with a small smile at the Talaxian, "Let's go into my ready room."

"Please sit down Neelix," Janeway gestured to the more comfortable setting of the couch that lined the upper level of her office. "I had been meaning to talk to you anyways."

Neelix settled himself down, only to sit up straighter and jiggle his leg in characteristic nervousness and excitement. "I have to tell you," he began, "I have no idea how this happened, but when I went to check on our food stores this morning, most of the leeloa root containers had not been properly sealed and most of the root had rotted!"

Kathryn tried to put on a sympathetic face, and felt like she succeeded, mostly. Like most of the crew on Voyager, she hated the dry, bland taste of leeloa root. She wondered if Tom Paris had a hand in this… unfortunate coincidence.

"Does this put us at critical levels for food supplies?" she asked.

Neelix shook his head, "No not yet. But it will become a problem very soon. I suggest we stop for more supplies. If I remember correctly there is a small planet that is only a days journey out of our way. If we could stop there, only a day or so we will be able to gather enough food to last us a long while!"

Kathryn leaned closer to him and placed a hand on his arm. "This planet, tell me about it."

"Oh! It's perfectly safe Captain. It is uninhabited because its orbit crosses paths with a gas giant in the system, and the big planet's rings make a really violent meteor shower on the planet. The shower comes every three years so we should miss it."

"Neelix how is crew moral? Could everyone stand a few days of shore leave perhaps?"

The alien's eyes lit up, "This planet is perfect for a vacation. If you don't mind spending some extra time there, I am sure everyone could use a short break."

Janeway smiled broadly, "That is exactly what I was thinking. Very well, I will call a senior staff meeting to discuss this, but I am sure everyone will agree. Talk to Tom about coordinates to this planet."

After the cook and self proclaimed moral officer had left, Kathryn sat back and looked out on the stars, already excited about the adventure ahead.


	18. Chapter 18

**Finally another chapter done. This one was somewhat painful, but I was suffering from a writer's block (and a very busy life) for awhile there. But now with summer dawning upon me I will hopefully be getting my groove back on. This is probably not the best I could have done, but please try to enjoy and I'll see about getting another chapter out there soon. **

"This is ridiculous," Janeway slammed the padd down, her brow furrowing in anger.

"I don't understand Ma'am," Chakotay held himself at parade rest and didn't move his eyes from the spot beyond the Captain's shoulder.

Now she was mad, "You! This!" she yelled, gesturing at the space between them. "You're act all distant and professional and cold, like we haven't been best friends stuck on this ship for these past three years!"

"You lied to me," he whispered, still not looking at her.

She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him, "Like you wouldn't have acted just as you are now if I had told you any sooner," she said mulishly.

Now he did look at her, "It would have made a difference. We could have turned around, gone back to that moon, found a way to reverse the ritual."

Kathryn placed both hands on her desk and leaned over to look Chakotay in the eye. "I am never going back to that moon and I know there is no way to reverse the effects. So you better find a way to get used to it, just as I have."

Chakotay dropped the façade for a moment and Janeway could see the pain and hurt in his eyes. "You're going to have to give me a few days on that Kathryn," he murmured.

She walked around her desk and placed a hand gently on his chest. "I understand Chakotay and I really don't want to lose your friendship over this. Please understand that."

He offered her a small smile and stepped towards the door, "I trying to understand."

"That's all I ask." She followed him onto the bridge. "Mr. Paris how long until we reach this planet?"

Tom turned around from his position at the helm and grinned at her. "Just under three hours now Captain."

"Very good," Janeway sat back in her chair and allowed Tom's excitement to wash over her, replacing the unease she felt lurking in the back of her mind.

XOXOXOX

"The vessel has reached the planet's orbit," a low voice echoed about the bridge of a seemingly empty ship.

"Very good," a dark voice with authority in its tone praised. "Take us into the meteor field, we will wait out of their sensor's range until the two who resisted us before are vulnerable then attack. Once they fall, their ship will be open for us to feed." Other voices joined in with their leader, their babbling filling a normally silent ship to a crescendo.

XOXOXOX

Kathryn felt like she could breathe again. She never realized how sterile the air was on Voyager, constantly getting recycled and channeled throughout the entire ship. But now, on the surface of this small planet, the difference struck her. She drew in another deep breath just for the heck of it and caught Tom grinning at her out of the corner of eye. Instead of getting defensive, she merely gave him a soft smile in return. He could understand perfectly that the freedom of open air meant something more to them now.

"How soon until we can get away from them?" Tom bent over to murmur in her ear to avoid anyone from the small group they were with from over hearing. "I have some great excuses we can use."

Kathryn longed to lean back against the hard plane of her mate's chest, but with only a few of the senior staff knowing their relationship she knew that wouldn't go over well. So she consoled herself with the fact that they would soon be alone together after their shift of food scavenging was done.

"Everyone has to take a food gathering shift, Mr. Paris," she said, playing the part of the Captain more for the benefit of the crew members nearby rather than to reprimand her lover, "And as a senior officer you must do your part just as any other member of this ship."

"Yes Ma'am," he saluted sharply and strode off into a corpse of trees. The others in their group stared wide eyed after Paris and stole glances at their Captain, surprised at his slight insubordination and wondering what Janeway was going to do about it.

Kathryn heaved a sigh and followed after her pilot. "Tom?" she called out softly as she entered the trees. She could sense him close, but could not pin point his exact location. She wasn't expecting the hand that shot out from behind her and pulled her deeper into the shadows. As she opened her mouth to tell him off, he pressed his mouth firmly to hers effectively silencing her protests.

He pressed her into tree that might have been an oak if they had been on Earth. She relaxed into him and let her irritation at him go, loving the feeling of his body surrounding her smaller one. Tom's hand was sliding up her flat stomach, fingers just brushing the bottom of a breast when voices calling for them had them stumbling apart.

"Captain Janeway is everything alright?" A nervous, lower ranked security officer didn't want anything happening to the Captain on his watch. Even if Chief of Security Tuvok had declared the planet harmless of everything except the bumblings of careless crewmen.

"Just fine crewman." Smoothing down her uniform, Kathryn hoped her voice didn't sound as breathless as she thought it did. She moved to join the anxious security officer, whom she could hear crashing through the undergrowth a few meters off, but Tom held her back.

"Your hair," he explained, picking out shards of bark from her tightly done bun. "I'm not really mad at you," he went on conversationally, "it's just that is it's so frustrating to being so close to you and not being able to touch you or show you affection when I feel like it. I want them to all know you are _mine_ and it's hard to control myself sometimes."

Kathryn reached up to grab his hand and squeezed it tightly. "I know," she said softly, looking up into his eyes. Then she grinned, "Thirty more minutes and you can have me all to yourself."

"I am counting the minutes," Tom promised roughly and gave her a lazy once over that made her suspect that he was already undressing her in his mind.

XOXOXOX

Forty minutes later she found sitting in a tree not far the spot of their impromptu make-out session. "You plan on staying up there our entire leave?" she called up to him, hands on her hips.

"Maybe," he said, grinning down at her, "I like it up here, nobody to bother me. If I'm going to come down, I'm going to need some pretty strong incentive."

Kathryn smiled enigmatically at him and unzipped her jacket and shrugged it off. She looked up challenging at her mate and reach for the hem of her turtleneck, pulling it and the tank top underneath swiftly over her head. She ran her teasingly over the fastening of her pants as she toed off her boots and socks, secretly gleeful to wiggle her toes in the dirt. Next she reached to her hair and pulled out each pin one by one, letting them fall to the growing pile of clothing on the forest floor.

"Ready to come down now?" she asked, running her fingers through her long auburn hair.

"Not quite ready yet."

Still keeping her gaze on him, she undid her pants and pushed them down her legs. Hands back on her hips, she raised an eyebrow at him in askance.

Tom shook his head, "Not just yet."

Unsnapping her bra and sliding it down her arms, she held it from a finger before letting it drop. "I think it's time you came down now," she stated.

"I couldn't agree more." Tom dropped gracefully to the ground and gathering Kathryn into his arms. She kissed him sweetly on the lips and then pulled away. "You are a little overdressed I think."

As Tom scrambled out his clothing, she stepped out of her lacey panties and stepped a few paces away. "Catch me if you can," she called out playfully. Tom looked up in time to see his lover shift from beautiful human to graceful feline.

And with a coughing laugh that turned into a growl, he joined her.


	19. Chapter 19

**Just want to thank my lovely new beta - Sevensmindisfull- and celebrate my first chapter that doesn't have typos and grammatical errors! Please enjoy!**

Kathryn lay in the crook of her mate's arm, sweaty and sated from both a long run and toe curling sex. Now she was content to stare up at the hazy blue sky and enjoy the stolen moments of fresh air before returning to the cloistered corridors of Voyager and the long journey home.

"Tom?" she asked softly, "You awake?"

He grunted his affirmation, proving to be on the verge of falling asleep. Kathryn sat up and leaned over him, balancing her body on his chest.

"There's something I have to tell you."

Tom cracked an eye open and looked at her. "Okay," he said, shutting his eye again and letting his head flop to the ground.

"Tom this is serious." She shook his shoulder.

"Okay, okay," he mumbled sitting up and wrapping his arms around Kathryn to keep her tight against him.

"Tom I lo…" she trailed off, seeing he wasn't paying any attention to her, but rather looking around, a frown on his face.

"Do you sense that?"

"Sense what?"

"I don't know. I just feel a sense of wrongness in the air."

Janeway stood up and held herself still, testing her finely tuned senses. Tom frowned at the loss and reached to pull her back down on his lap. "It's probably nothing."

"No I feel it too," she said, batting his hands away. "We should get back to the away teams."

Tom scowled in disappointment, "We still have time. We don't have to go back just yet." He was reluctant to give up any precious moments of freedom.

"No. Come on Tom," she was tugging on his arm to get him to stand up, "I don't like this. We need to get back."

He laughed, "Are you suggesting we just stroll up to the away teams buck naked?"

Kathryn blushed and smacked him affectionately, "Of course not. We'll go back to where we left our uniforms and check in on our combadges first."

"That's why you're the Captain. You always have a plan." Tom grabbed her and kissed her passionately, effectively stopping her laugh. They reluctantly broke the kiss and Tom leaned his forehead against her, panting heavily.

"What was that for?" she whispered, looking into his eyes.

"Because you are beautiful, because you rescued me and because I love you." He punctuated each answer with a quick kiss.

"Tom," she brought a hand up to cup his cheek, "I love you too."

He looked at her, joy filling his eyes before kissing her passionately once again. Before they could deepen it however, he bound away. "Come on," he said, happiness lighting up his face, "We need to be getting back."

"Why so eager to get back now?" she asked, hands on her hips.

"So I can take you to your quarters and make slow, sweet love to you until we both pass out from the pleasure." Then with a cocky grin, he transformed, leaving Kathryn standing there breathless with desire. He leapt forward, thinking his mate would quickly follow and ran smack into solid thin air. Yowling, he was thrown back a few feet.

"Tom!" Kathryn gasp, seeing her mate fall to the ground and feeling a malicious presence gather.

Immediately Paris was back on his feet and charging at the invisible threat. He heard whispers in the back of his mind, but refused to focus on them, consumed with fighting this threat.

Kathryn whipped around, feeling a presence ghost across her mind. "What do you want?" she called out to the seemingly empty forest. Nothing answered but the presence grew stronger as the whispers built up into a clamor. From the corner of her eye, Kathryn could see Tom pacing back and forth trying to get a physical mark on this invisible being. She struggled to transform herself but the whispers seemed to block her attempts. Then the whispers were no longer whispers and she unknowingly screaming aloud as they overwhelmed her thoughts.

Tom wheeled around, alarmed at Kathryn's scream and watched horrified as she crumpled to the ground. Immediately he bounded to her side and stood over her naked form protectively, letting loose a loud snarl in the direction he thought the threat lay. He could still sense it in the back of his mind, but his immediate concern for the woman lying beneath him smothered the presence for the moment.

He bent down and nuzzled his whiskered face against her pale one, trying to rouse his mate. He could see her eyelids fluttering and heard her muttering under her breath as her fingers clutched convulsively at the earth. It was then that Tom recognized the lurking presence as the same wrongness he and Kathryn had felt aboard the alien ship and that these aliens somehow subdued their victims through the mind and memories. It was because of their abilities to change into giant felines that they were somehow able to fight these invisible beings.

Paris could see his mate trying to fight the effects of the aliens but in her human form she was too weak and the fight was beginning to seep out of her. Her body was no longer twitching with the effort and her breath was becoming slower. Tom knew he had to wake her from this state before the aliens gained anymore ground within her mind.

'I hope she can forgive me for this' he thought to himself then bite her hard on the shoulder. Hard enough to draw blood.

Kathryn bolted upright with a yelp, her hand going straight to cover the wound in her shoulder. She scowled at Tom, realizing he was the cause of her pain. He ignored her, more anxious for her safety then his own. He nudged her, trying to get her to change before the malevolent presence rallied and attacked again. Already he could feel the whispers start up again in his head and he shook his head violently as if he could dislodge them.

Janeway, although confused by her mate's behavior, allowed instinct to take over. Her body stretched and muscles rippled as she changed into a large feline. Instantly the droning voices in her head dulled back to the original whispers and she could feel her senses clear and sharpen.

Tom rubbed his body against hers in a gesture of approval and comfort and Kathryn couldn't resist rubbing back. He tried to push her further into the trees and out of harm's way but she was having none of it. If her mate was staying to fight the alien threat, so was she. And both knew that, after seeing what had happened to the security officers who'd accompanied them to the alien vessel, they were the only two that had any chance at stopping these memory stealing aliens from feeding on the rest of the crew.

Tom frowned worriedly at her, but Janeway paid him no mind, her eyes bright with an idea. Turning her back on the approaching enemy, she kicked with her powerful back legs sending a spray of dirt and rock into the air. The earthy debris settled on the invisible aliens and outlined their forms. Now the pair could see what they fighting.

Tom let out a thundering roar and sprang at the hulking forms, claws fully unsheathed. His claws sank into the closest alien with a satisfying smoothness like digging fingers into soft clay. He wasted no time in tearing large chucks out of his prey. He sensed more than saw Kathryn joining the fight as he leapt at his second alien.

He fought like a machine, methodically and without thought, relying on his sharp sense of hearing and smell to guide him rather than through sight. He would tear chunks out of an alien form until there was too much missing for it to still be alive before moving on to the next one to administer the same treatment. He could feel his back paws begin to sink into the clay like flesh of his enemy and he knew that their body parts were littered around him in a growing pile. He was beginning to tire, but still pressed on; knowing to stop would mean death. A quick glance at Janeway told him she was feeling much the same.

As he was watching, an invisible hand carved a deep line into his mate's side, drawing a yelp of pain from her as it began to bleed profusely. Incensed that she had been hurt, Tom leapt at the alien and clawed at it with a savagery he didn't know he had. That alien and many more fell helplessly beneath his paws as Paris worked his way through the remaining aliens, blinded by his blood fueled rage.

He leapt at the next alien and was surprised to meet no resistance. Landing back down on all fours he held himself still, trying to pinpoint the location of the enemy. He could sense nothing. The evil presence was gone along with the whispers that had tickled his thoughts.

They had won. Victorious, he looked around for his mate and was alarmed to find her leaning heavily against a nearby tree.

Tom could see the bite in her shoulder begin to trickle blood once again but it was the deep gash across her side that worried him. It was gushing blood at an alarming rate and her soft golden fur was becoming matted with blood and dirt. She was too exhausted to hold on to her cat form any longer and she unwillingly fell back into her human one.

Tom rushed to her side, shedding his cat form as well and gathered her up in his arms wishing their uniforms were nearby so that he would at least have something to staunch the bleeding. Feeling helpless, he pressed gently on the wound that stretched from the bottom of her rib cage to curl around her hip. Kathryn groaned at his ministrations and struggled to lift her head as she fought to stay conscious.

"You can't die on me Kathryn. I love you… I love…" Tom hadn't realized he was babbling until her hand landed on his lips, effectively silencing him.

"I…" she coughed, flecks of blood landing on her full lips, "love you."

Tom stared at her, aghast, as she lost consciousness and cradled her more tightly in his arms. He never noticed the blue sparkle of Voyager's transport beam engulf them.

In transport room two, both Chakotay and Be'lanna were shocked to see the nude pale forms materialize on the platform. However the slowly spreading pool of blood quickly spurred them into action.

"Transport them to sickbay immediately!" Chakotay all but shouted.

Tom didn't know where he was but someone was trying to pull him away from his mate and he was having none of it. He clung tighter to her petite form, using his body as a shield to protect her from whatever was attacking them.

"No!" he swung his arm wildly trying to drive them away, "She is mine!"

"Mr. Paris, please calm down," the Doctor ordered as he inched closer with a hypospray, "I am trying to help you!" Still Tom continued to flail at unseen enemies until the EMH managed to press the hypospray to his neck. He slumped over Kathryn unconscious and the Doctor pulled him aside, muttering at the grievous wound on his Captain. He lifted her onto a biobed and went to work trying to save her life. Again.

**One or two more chapters left with this one I think.**


	20. Chapter 20

**Finally the last chapter! There is so much more I could've written but it needed to end at some point. Thank you all for reading and reviewing. I hope you enjoyed xD. **

Paris was shrugging a blue sickbay gown over his head when Chakotay and Be'lanna burst through the doors obviously having sprinted from the transporter room.

"What the Hell is going on?" Be'lanna screeched, taking in the blood that still covered much of Tom making his stick together in dirty clumps.

Tom looked down at his bloody hands and tried wiping them on his gown. "It's not mine," he mumbled.

"Doctor?" Chakotay called, striding over to the edge of the force field the EMH had erected around him and his patient mainly to keep a worried, overprotective Tom out.

"Can't talk," the Doctor called back, "I am busy trying to save the Captain's life."

"Tom," Kes said gently, taking him by the arm, "You are hurt. Let me help you."

Tom shook her off. "I am fine Kes, most of it is Kathryn's blood," he said, all his attention focused on the Doctor working over his mate's still form.

Again Kes took his arm and tried to lead him to a nearby biobed. "You do have some injuries I should take care of-"

"Kathryn! Since when have you been on first name basis with the Captain?!" Be'lanna demanded, cutting Kes off.

Tom ignored her and Kes. Instead he moved to join Chakotay at the edge of the force field. "What happened? How did you know too beam us up?" he asked, not looking at the big Indian besides him.

"Tuvok noticed something on our long range sensors. After running a few tests, he concluded that it was the same ship we ran into not too long ago that gave us so much trouble. He then contacted me after he couldn't reach the Captain. We beamed up all the away teams expect for you and the Captain. We couldn't even find your bio-signatures until suddenly they just appeared." Chakotay shot him a look, knowing exactly why the pair had not read on Voyager's scanners. Tom didn't meet his eyes, he just nodded absently.

Be'lanna however, had had enough of being left in the dark. She bustled over to where the two men were standing and got right in Tom's face. "Paris, what is going on?! We couldn't find you on the planet, then suddenly we could and when we finally beam you up, you are naked and covered in blood with the equally naked, bloody Captain of this fucking starship in your arms! And now here you are acting all protective of her like you're her lover or something." Be'lanna laughed uneasily, "But that's impossible right?"

Now Tom looked at Chakotay, silently asking for help, but the Commander stared on impassively. He hadn't forgotten his anger at the young pilot. Seeing Chakotay was going to be no help, Tom sighed and turned away, stalking over to a biobed and throwing himself down upon it.

"You can fix me up now Kes," he muttered gruffly.

Be'lanna correctly interpreted his silence. "Kathless! You _are _sleeping with the Captain, with Kathryn fucking Janeway!" She stared at him, shocked, not knowing what else to say.

"I can't believe this! You really are a pig Paris," she finally said, throwing her hands in the air before stalking out of sickbay in anger.

As the irate Klingon left, Chakotay wrenched himself away from the operating theater to look sternly at the subdued pilot. "What happened down there Mr. Paris? What the hell did you do to her?"

"I tried to protect her," he said looking down at his clenched fists resting on his thighs. "I tried to protect her and I couldn't do it."

"Protect her from what?"

"The invisible aliens, the same aliens that we ran into on that ghost ship. They feed on thoughts and memories and they almost took Kathryn."

Chakotay clapped him in the shoulder because he could understand the heartache that came along with protecting Kathryn Janeway. "I'll expect it all in a report in 24 hours time. Don't worry about the ship; it has been taken care of."

Both men looked up at the sound of the force field disengaging. The Doctor held up a hand in a gesture he no doubt picked up from the Captain, to forestall their inevitable barrage of questions.

"The Captain will live. She is currently in a coma but that is to be expected after the loss of so much blood. She should wake from it naturally in a few days. Commander, Lieutenant, I am sure you both have many more questions. If you would sit down in my office, I can answer them all."

Chakotay nodded and moved across the room. Tom, however, lingered behind.

"Hey Doc!" he called, "Can I stay with her?"

The Doctor, remembering the intimate position he found the pilot and Captain in the last time they were in his sickbay, nodded his permission. He watched as Tom clasped Janeway's still hand in his and kissed it tenderly.

XOXOXOXOX

When Kathryn opened her eyes, she immediately regretted it as the bright lights of sickbay sent lightning bolts of pain ricocheting through her skull. She quickly shut them again with the futile hope that that would stop the pain. Knowing she would have to call the Doctor to ask him how she got here and how bad shape she was in, she slowly peeled her eyes open again.

Kathryn was surprised to see a sandy blond head resting on her right arm, his hand clutching hers tightly. Then she frowned. He shouldn't be here if they were to keep their relationship a secret.

"Tom," she tried to say but her dry throat protested and she broke into coughing. She wondered why the EMH didn't come running at the noise she was making, but it was enough to rouse Tom.

"You're awake!" he grinned joyfully before reaching for a cup of water. "You really worried us for a time there," he said as he held the cup to lips and allowed her small sips.

"Thank you," she said, her voice back, "Why am I here?"

Paris frowned at her, "You don't remember? We were in a pretty wild fight and you were seriously injured."

"The aliens!" Kathryn gasped, struggling to sit up.

"Whoa, relax Kat," Tom said pushing her back to the bed. "We took care of them. Chakotay and Tuvok took out their ship and we "dismantled" the ones that were planet side." He laughed softly, "Harry actually managed to find a way to make them visible. A solution of salt and water tossed on them strips away the chemical their bodies' produce that causes the invisibility. I have to say they were pretty grotesque which is probably why they wanted to be invisible."

Kathryn laughed which turned into a groan as her hand instinctively went to her injured side. Tom frowned in concern, lifting her blue gown to look at the angry red line that ran down her side. "How are you feeling? The Doctor said there might be some lingering soreness but there was no permanent damage."

"I'm fine, just sore. Where is the Doctor anyway?"

Tom smiled sheepishly and shrugged, "I turned him off a little while ago. He was getting on my nerves. Especially after I told him we could turn into giant cats, he wouldn't leave me alone with all his questions and medical theories."

"You told him!" Kathryn's voice rose by several octaves.

"Kat I had too. You almost died! He needed to know and besides he kept asking about a strange rumbling sound we make. It took me forever to figure out that he could hear us purring."

Janeway blinked at him. "Fine, turn him back on so he can get me out of here."

Tom realized she was shutting him out. He grabbed her chin and gently turned her head so he was looking into her wide gray eyes. "I did what I thought was best. I wasn't going to lose you. And…" he trailed off.

"And what?" she prompted.

"I told Tuvok and Harry too." Seeing the look on his mate's face he hurried to explain, "They saw the alien bodies we ripped apart. Both saw the claw marks and knew something was up."

"So my entire senior staff knows now? If Neelix knows then so does the whole ship. What is the crew saying?" Now she just sounded resigned to her fate rather than upset.

"Actually Neelix and the rest of the crew do not know. The few people who know about our unique situation are keeping their mouths shut. The crew, however, is busy gossiping about our relationship. To say they are surprised is defiantly an understatement. Neelix is a bit put out that he wasn't the first to know or even to suspect."

"How did the crew find out if no one told Neelix?"

"That would be Mr. Paris's own fault," the Doctor announced his presence with his usual tact. "He refused to leave your side for the eight days you've been unconscious."

"Eight days!" Kathryn gasped.

"Yes," the Doctor informed her, "You were in a coma. I am actually surprised you woke so soon. It must have something to do with your new abilities…" he trailed off under Janeway's death glare.

"Let me make one thing clear," she stated, struggling to sit up so she could face the EMH full on, "You are not to talk about _that_ ever. There will be no medical documents or even footnotes and you will quit pestering Mr. Paris about it. Understood?" The Doctor nodded meekly. "Good. Now when can I go back to my quarters?"

XOXOXOXOX

It took her two more days to get out of sickbay. The first day was fine. She was still too weak to protest much and slept most of the day. However by the second, she was beginning to feel trapped and somewhat self conscious.

Another crewman with an injured hand walked through the door and stared at the Captain and chief Pilot ensconced in the far corner of sickbay. He didn't look away until Kes directed him to a biobed near the door with his back to the couple.

Kathryn could feel the eyes on her, but she refused to look up. She focused all her concentration in picking at the silver blanket covering her legs. She continued until a pair of long, slightly calloused fingers covered her own.

"Kat, stop worrying about it. In a few days we will be old news, an accepted aberration."

"Don't call me that."

"What? I think it fits." He gave her a grin that simultaneously made her want to push him away in annoyance and kiss him lustily.

"Fine," she huffed exasperated, "But only in private. Call me that on the bridge and I will not hesitate to demote you."

Tom responded by kissing her. He didn't mean to deepen it but when his mate sighed and parted her lips, unconsciously asking for more, he was happy to oblige. He had missed doing this, missed being this close to her. It was minutes later that they were interrupted by coughing coming from somewhere behind them and they reluctantly parted.

"Captain, I am glad to see you are doing better," the EMH stated, looking down at the pair half entwined around one another, "I think I can release you to your quarters, provided you promise to rest for another day before starting some light duty shifts."

"Doctor, I am well enough healed to return to the bridge," Kathryn protested.

The Doctor heaved a dramatic sigh, "I insist of at least one day of rest in your quarters."

"Come on," Tom said, tugging gently on her hand, "Escape while you have the chance."

Kathryn opened her mouth to protest some more, but before she could get a word in Kes interrupted. "Captain I brought you some clothes. I did not think you would want to walk through Voyager in that gown."

Sighing, Janeway stood and took the simple shirt and leggings from Kes. "Very well Doctor. I will see you at the staff meeting tomorrow morning."

The EMH opened his mouth to protest but wisely said nothing when he saw the stormy look on his Captain's face.

"Come on Kat, I'll take you to your quarters," Paris said once she was dressed. He pulled her by the hand out of sickbay. However, once in the hall Kathryn fought to escape his grip. Tom wouldn't let her go. "Kat, the entire crew knows about us. We don't need to hide it."

"We also don't need to flaunt it either."

"Holding hands is not flaunting. If I was too push you up against a wall in the mess or engineering and passionately kiss you in front of everyone, then that would be flaunting." He gave her a rakish grin.

Even as her heart beat quickened at his words, she admonished him, "You will do no such thing."

"You saw that now," Tom replied, wiggling his eyebrows at her in a playful manner and laughing Kathryn allowed him to take her hand again.

In retrospect she didn't mind. The crew knew and there was nothing she could do about it now. It was better to let them know that Paris was _hers_ now. She grinned possessively as she entered her quarters and knew that would give some passing crewmen something more to gossip about.

XOXOXOXOX

The senior staff meeting went worse then she expected. Now she was slumped over her desk, safely sequestered in her ready room, trying to forget the past couple of hours. She wished she could talk to Tom, but he was at the helm and they had agreed long ago that their personal lives would never interfere with their duties. So instead she thumped back down on her desk and thought back to where the staff meeting began to go wrong.

Kathryn should have known sitting down at the head of the table in the conference room that this meeting was going to be a disaster just by the moods of her senior officers. Tuvok was sitting impassively but she knew she was going to have to have a long talk with him soon and come clean about everything. She dreaded that.

Next to Tuvok, Harry Kim was fidgeting in his seat and didn't look up from the pad he clutched with white knuckles. Janeway frowned, he was acting like she was going to turn into a giant feline and rip him to shreds any minute now.

Her attention was drawn away from the young ensign but the arrival of a characteristically exuberant Neelix with Kes trailing behind. The Talaxian was gushing over with congratulations for the Captain and pilot. While she was glad that he was no longer upset about not being the first to know, his excitement was a tad overwhelming. It took the gentle but firm hand of Kes to get him seated and to tone down the ringing endorsements.

She noticed that Be'lanna wouldn't stop scowling straight ahead of her at the chair Tom usually sits in. Kathryn thought she heard a growl from deep in the Chief engineer's throat, but wasn't sure. Most of her anger was directed at Tom it seemed and she wouldn't look at Janeway at all. Could it be possible that she was jealous? Now it was her that felt a possessive growl rise in her throat.

Luckily she was distracted by her first officer leaning over from his seat to her right. "I talked to Torres last night," Chakotay began, "I had to tell her some things to make her understand your and Tom's unique position."

"What do you mean?" she asked in a low voice.

"I think Be'lanna was feeling a little betrayed after finding out about your relationship with Paris. After that blood fever thing she kind of saw Paris as hers even if she vocally denied it. She didn't understand why Paris was with you. So I told her how the two of you don't have a choice."

"Chakotay…" she began wanting to make him understand that she and Tom had not been forced together. They could manage without each other. But seeing the set features of her best friend, she decided not to waste her breath. He wasn't going to change his mind.

Thankfully Tom Paris slid into his seat at exactly 0800 and grinned cheerfully at her, ignoring the mercurial moods of everyone else in the room. Kathryn returned his grin with a small crooked smile before smoothing her features into her "Captain's mask".

"Alright people. I've been gone for over a week. I want full reports from each department. Mr. Tuvok, if you would begin."

The Vulcan nodded his head in her direction and began his report. Kathryn sat back in her chair, relaxing slightly and hoped Tuvok would set a professional tone for the rest of her staff. Apparently it was too much to ask.

Ensign Kim couldn't meet her eyes and mumbled his report into the table top. Janeway felt slightly bad asking him to speak up but she was justified in her position as captain. Harry blushed bright and glanced up at her quickly before looking back down and finished his report, albeit in a louder voice. Be'lanna gave her report in terse, clipped tones obviously struggling to hold her anger back. Neelix was quite the opposite, trying to hold in his excitement and sincere happiness. Tom didn't have much to report having just returned to the helm himself and Chakotay gave his report calmly as always.

In retrospect, Kathryn guessed it was her fault for addressing the elephant in the room. But the uneasy tension between everyone was eating at her.

"As you all have probably heard by now, Mr. Paris and I am in a relationship." Neelix and Be'lanna both opened their mouths but the Captain held up her hand and stopped their words in their throats. "I would like to make a couple of things clear. This was not the way we wished to tell the ship, but the Delta Quadrant has a habit of throwing us curve balls. And second, I can promise you that Mr. Paris and I will both act professionally and that this relationship will not affect our duties in any way. However, I would thank you to remember what happens off duty is personal and that you respect that privacy."

She sat back down and watched as the room erupted.

Finally she shook her head to clear the thoughts of the morning senior staff meeting. She didn't want to think about it anymore. It was what it was, and as she tried to focus on her work, for the first time in a long time she wished that the end of shift would come faster.

XOXOXOXOX

End of shift came and Kathryn was uncharacteristically glad to fall into her mate's arms and take comfort from him. She was quite content to stay curled up on his lap on her couch for the rest of the night. If only she didn't have her boots on still. And her pips were digging into her neck. And she wasn't sure if Tom was really comfortable with the way she draped across him. Sighing she pulled away from him and sat next to him, leaning down to pull of her boots.

"It wasn't that bad," Tom said softly, rubbing his hand up and down the length of her spine.

"I'm pretty sure no other Starfleet captain had a senior staff riot when he or she tried to have a relationship with someone on their ship."

"I'm pretty sure no Starfleet captain has ever come to experiencing all the things you have gone through. I say you deserve it."

She sat back up to look him in the eye, "I deserved that…that mess?"

"No, not that madness. I meant a relationship."

Kathryn slapped him on the chest and stood, discarding her jacket on the way to the replicator. "You only say that because you are the other half of the relationship."

"No," Tom said softly in her ear, causing her to jump and almost drop her dinner. "I say that because you deserve it. I am just the enormously lucky one to be that person you can let go with."

Dinner safe on the corner of her desk, Kathryn reached up and cupped Tom's cheek. "No matter what the others say, I did have a choice. And I chose **you**," she whispered fiercely.

Tom brought his lips crashing down on hers as she reached up to meet him halfway. Hands moved over hard and soft planes and clothing was disarranged. Finally Tom made a noise that was something like a grunt of frustration mixed with a moan of passion and unwilling to part his lips with hers, picked her up and staggered into the bedroom.

XOXOXOXOX

A while later as the afterglow was beginning to fade, Tom's self confidence flagged somewhat. "If this bond hadn't been created between us, would we have ever gotten to this point?"

Kathryn, who had been snuggled comfortably along his side, sat up and frown at him. "Do you mean if we had never gone through that ritual that turned us into giant felines, would we have never been lovers?" she clarified, pushing her mussed hair out of her face.

Tom nodded sitting up as well. Kathryn nibbled on her lip and looked out at the stars, silent. She was quiet for so long Tom was beginning to debate whether to ask her again or let it go.

"You know that Chakotay loves me," she finally said and Tom blinked at her because that was not the answer he was looking for. "And he actually prepositioned having a relationship with me, not long after New Earth. He gave me a reason why we could be together for every one that I had against it. I still turned him down."

"Why?" Tom asked in a slightly strangled voice.

"I guess it was because I didn't love him like he loved- loves- me. But what I feel for you is different than the friendship I feel for him. And I like to think what I feel for you goes deeper than our physical bond."

"I love you too, but you never answered my question."

Janeway sighed and looked again at the stars. "I am the Captain and this ship and this crew will be my responsibility until we get home." She was quiet for some time. Then, "No, I would have never allowed myself a relationship with you had this not happened. But it did and I wouldn't change it for anything."

"Okay."

"Okay? That's it?" Kathryn was a little incredulous.

"You were honest with me. That is all I can ask for. And if I am to do the same then I have to tell you, I never thought we would ever be in a relationship either. Of course I had a crush on you, I've had one since back when I was a cadet, but it was a type of unrealistic fantasy."

Kathryn grinned and snuggled back into his side, rubbing her body up and down his in a cat like manner, "Well it's all pretty unrealistic."

Tom laughed and curled tightly around her, smiling contently as she started to purr softly, "But I wouldn't change it for anything."

End


End file.
